I know you’re beggin’ for a bite, just a little taste, he’s just so dang scrumptious, you begin to salivate at the mere sight of him. And the trouble is he really thinks he’s scary, but he’s just too adorable to frighten anyone. Don’t tell him that though. I know a lot of you may think I’m talking about Edward here, but I don’t care what team you’re on, everyone craves a little bit of Emmett from time to time. So, just for Kellan’s birthday, you should head to the blue door, knock the beat of “Rhythm of Love” by the Plain White T's and the password is “Emmett”. Be Safe!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Travelers hurried around the airport terminal in a flurry of chaos. It was early and I was tired; happy, but tired. In a town that spent so much time partying the night before, I was amazed that this many people were functioning. I glanced around again; maybe functioning was the wrong term. Only about a quarter of this crowd could actually be classified as functioning, most of them looked hung over or perhaps even still drunk. The rest looked like the walking dead; the Cullen’s didn’t stand out in any way.
Reflecting on our trip, we’d had a lot of fun in New Orleans and after the incident with the voodoo shop owner, we tried very hard to not scare anyone else. However, as we got closer and closer to Mardi Gras, it appeared that the general public got drunker and drunker which also meant that they stopped paying much attention to us altogether. Rosalie had the best time throwing beads and Edward managed to talk his way into jamming with a local jazz band. It was awesome to see him on stage and it was easy to see how happy it made Bella to hear him; like he had the whole band playing just for her. It made my heart melt.
But right now, I was sitting at gate C36 playing spades with Edward, Bella, and Jasper. Bella was protecting our thoughts so Edward couldn’t cheat and Jasper was keeping me calm so that I was not at a human disadvantage. It was entertaining and currently Bella and I were winning 5 games to the boys 2 games. I wasn’t sure where Alice and Emmett had run off to and Rosalie, Jacob, and Renesmee were all browsing a car magazine, feverishly debating the benefits of a particular brand of spark plug, I think.
I looked up at the board for the gate again, “Las Vegas, NV” scrolled across the LED panel. When I reviewed our itinerary last night I could have sworn we were connecting through Denver, but the gate Alice sent us to had yet to indicate a Denver flight and although I was slightly confused, I was too exhausted to put up a fight. I was simply along for the ride. So I played my hand.
“Way to go, Andi!” Bella exclaimed raising her hand for a high five, I smacked her hand. “That makes us 6 to 2! Want to play again?”
“Why bother?” Edward shrugged. “You and Andi are killing us.”
“Afraid you’ll lose again?” she taunted back.
“Honestly? Yes.” He laughed as he answered her. She smiled back at him and kissed him lightly. Then she turned back to me, “so, got anything new to read?”
“Oh, I have some excellent things to read,” I smiled at her and reached into my bag for my netbook. “Give me your Kindle and I’ll load them.” She handed it over and once my machine was up and running, I plugged it in and started transferring files.
I was scrolling through my directories, when a balled up piece of paper hit me in the back of the head. I picked it up and turned around, but nothing was there. I turned back to my computer. Another ball of paper hit me and I turned again, but saw no one. I rolled my eyes and faced my computer again. A third ball of paper hit me and I spun in my seat, “Emmett!” I growled under my breath.
“What?” he answered from the seat beside me that was previously empty.
“Stop.” I told him simply.
“Stop what?” he asked feigning innocence, but smiling at me.
“Stop hitting me with paper.” I stated and turned back to my screen. “Where did you and Alice go anyway?”
“We had to go change our flights to the one to Vegas.” He sat back in the seat as though this was the most normal thing in the world.
“Why are we going through Vegas? Was Denver not a good place to change planes?”
“Oh, I’m sure Denver would have been fine, but we’re going to crash a birthday party.”
“We are?” I was now intrigued and he knew it. “Who’s birthday party?”
“My doppelganger, Kellan Lutz, is having a birthday party at club Pure in Vegas and we’re going to crash it.” Emmett stated smiling so wide, it appeared as though his face might split in two.
“Awesome!” I responded unplugging Bella’s Kindle. “Here Bella, I’m done.” As I leaned across the space to hand it back to her, I felt another ball of paper hit me in the head.
I turned to face him, “Why do you keep doing that?”
“I’m bored and you’re funny” he chuckled.
“I’ll make a deal with you, if you stop throwing paper at me, I’ll make sure all my stories this week feature you, in honor of Kellan’s birthday. Deal?”
“Sweet! Deal!” he answered, but continued to play with the paper in his hands.
“But if you hit me with anymore paper the deal is off, got it?” I sat back with my netbook and plugged in my wireless modem.
“Fine.” He said with a pout on his face.
“Now go away, Babe, you’re bothering me.” I told him patting his leg and smiling at him. Then he patted my head and I heard him say, “Oh Rosie!” just before he walked away from me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Now, I don’t have a clue what he and Rose may have done at the airport, but he didn’t come back to bother me, so I’m keeping my promise and boy did I find some deals for you. I hope these fulfill all your Emmett fantasies.
My first drool worthy Emmett tale is titled, “
The Ice Queen and Mister McCarty” by SebastienRobichaud. Emmett McCarty is a partner attorney for Smithson and Sons and he’s very good at what he does. It’s just unfortunate that his office is right beside the water cooler and he’s subjected to much more gossip than he’d like. Of course, being a highly intelligent, former college athlete, Emmett is intimately aware that things are not always as they appear. So when he’s caught defending the honor of the office “Ice Queen”, he becomes even more aware that there’s something she’s hiding under this cold armor she’s wrapped around herself. Will his warm personality and gentle nature, be enough to thaw her so that she can finally be herself again? This is an excellent story from an amazing author, so I know you’ll enjoy it.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6528047 
My next Emmett tale is a tad of a puzzle called “
Down & Across” by hmonster4 and TheHeartoflife. Emmett McCarty used to be a big time technology executive, but knew that was never the life for him. Rosalie Hale thought she was well on her way to achieving her dreams, successful career, husband, and friends, but deep down she wanted more, she knew there was more. Two lost souls reaching out, trying to spell out that what the heart desires. Can two people look passed their complex pasts and find something amazing in the simple pleasures of a coastal town? This tale is very light hearted, but the journey is worth it.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5967086 
My next deal is a collection of one shots called, “
30 days of Emmett” by 30 Days of Emmett. This is 5 weeks of little randomness, outtakes, and one-shots from more than 70 authors, all devoted to the big guy with the dimples. It includes all different ratings, all pairings, all universes and genres. For true variety, this is a fun read.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6476118
Finally, I’m offering up a hot story called, “
Heavy in Your Arms” by sadtomato. Bella dated Edward in High School and she thought things were amazing with him until things just weren’t. Something was off about their relationship and even though she couldn’t quite identify what it was, she trusted him enough to let him be her first. But Edward was harboring a secret that he wasn’t even willing to admit to himself, which left Bella feeling worthless and broken. A year later, she runs into Emmett, Edward’s older brother, at a party and learns the truth about Edward. Can the truth about Emmett’s feelings help her heal and learn to be appreciated? Can she learn to forgive herself?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6109126
Now, because its Kellan’s birthday and he never got back to me on twitter as to whether he preferred cake or pie, I’m going to go with an Emmett preference. In breaking dawn, Emmett and Jasper were contemplating the hunting possibilities in the Amazon, one of which were jaguars, so I’m suggesting something better than cake, called “Jaguar Bars”
Ingredients
1 cup Butter
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon Baking soda
1 teaspoon ground Cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups chopped dates
1 cup chopped Walnuts
vanilla glaze
2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup Milk
Instructions
Soften butter, blend with sugars and eggs until mixture is fluffy, Stir in vanilla and dates. Let stand for 5 minutes to soften dates. Add salt, cinnamon, and soda; mix well. Add flour and blend until all dry ingredients are moist. Stir in nuts.
Spread into an 11" x 17" cookie sheet pan with sides. Bake at 325 for 25-30 minutes. Cool completely then cut into 2.5" x 3" rectangles.
Mix glaze until all sugar is dissolved and smooth. Drizzle over bars and allow to dry completely (usually overnight, so you'll want to cover with paper towels or another cookie sheet of equal size) before removing from pan.
Well, we'll get back to the Shack someday, but until next week. If you're part of my challenge, be sure to log the chapters you've reviewed for the
Million Word Reading Challenge (I've released part of the fic I was challenged to write, you can find it under the title "
In Nature"), Tweet (
FanFicDealer),
Message me on Facebook, or email (
fanficdealer@gmail.com) if you want to talk shop.
The deal has been made. ;)
“Dang, Rose! Are you trying to kill me?” every limb hurt and I felt like I’d been beaten. It was Thursday afternoon and Rosalie had decided that I sit too much and needed more exercise. So after I’d eaten my lunch she dragged me out to a personally tailored extreme Pilate’s class.
1. 
6. 
How in the hell does she do this every week? I thought to myself as I silently tried to sift through the files before me. There were like a zillion files on here; over a 178,000 on just one site alone. How does she ever find anything?
After spending so much time traveling, it was nice to finally be back in the lab. Almost relaxing to come back to the humdrum of everyday activities. Of course, now that we had returned, we had a lot of catching up to do.
Renesmee stared at the diagram for only a couple minutes then turned to her father and proudly announced, “It’s 20, Daddy!”
My first amazing little tale is everything we need right after our Irish holiday, titled “
My next geekward was hiding in a kissing booth, in a one-shot tale called “
My third little nerdward was discovered in a more grow-up tale called “
Since, I'm seriously addicted to anything of a literary nature, I'm going to fill you in on this little tidbit: 100 Monkeys claims that they have written a book!!
Once the activity from the Feds died down at the Shack, Alice and Jasper joined us at the safe house with a tour bus and a lot more luggage than only two people needed. So I thought I’d ask, “Hey, Alice what’s up with all the bags?”
We visited museums, plantations, and cemeteries, even went shopping but the funniest was the afternoon we walked into a voodoo shop and the poor woman running it nearly had a heart attack. She ran up to me, grabbed my arm, and thrust a silver cross in the direction of the vampires that had walked in with me. “Stay back! I know what you are!” she shouted at them. “And I’m not going to let you harm this girl!”
First, I have an amazingly addictive historical tale titled “
Next, I have a hidden little gem called “
My last little melodic tale is titled “