::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

Calling all fic addicts! Don’t have time for a long tale? Looking for a quick fix? Craving something fast and dirty? Well, look no further because Lab Tech Andi’s found 12 smut-tastic one-shots to deal this week. However, this stash comes with a warning: ALL these fics contain mature themes and situations, so if you’re under 18 just shut the browser now and we won’t tell your parents. To obtain these tingly tales, just go to the blue door at the back of the Love Shack, knock the sultry beats of Elvis Presley’s version of “Fever” and the password is “Dirty Dozen”. Be Safe!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When you spend so much time with vampires, there are some things you simply have to get used to otherwise they will drive you completely insane. First, they are so fast that you never hear them approach, so if you have a skittish personality, heaven help ya. Second, their senses are so far enhanced that, there is no way you’d be able to hide anything from them. Lastly, if one of those vampires is Alice, then she will find any excuse to have a party.

Esme had been stopping by the lab daily with food; trying to ensure that we wouldn’t have a repeat of last week anytime soon. It was such a blessing and the authors adored the time they got to spend with her because she spoiled them at every opportunity. During one of her visits, she sat down across from me and asked, “Since the boys will be gone for a few days hunting, Alice wanted to see if it would be okay with you if she planned a slumber party with all the authors for Wednesday night.”

“I’m fine with it, but you guys don’t sleep.” I stated taking a bite out of my sandwich.

Suddenly, Alice seemed to materialize out of nowhere, throwing her tiny arms around my neck, and exclaiming excitedly “Oh, Andi! We’re going to have so much fun! You’ll see.”

Completely unprepared for her assault, I gasped, making me choke on the bite I’d just taken. Immediately, I started coughing and when I was finally able to get a breath, I muttered, “I’m putting a bell on that door.”

“I’m so sorry; I’ll have Jasper install a chime when they get back.” She said as she gently pat my back. “I really didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay Alice. I’ll live. So tell me about this slumber party.” I took a drink of my water and finished my lunch as Alice filled me in on all the plans she had for the party.

As it turns out, having guests who didn’t sleep really wasn’t a problem as Alice never intend for anyone to sleep anyway. Her agenda included: pizza and other assorted snacks, makeovers, a fashion show, mani’s and pedi’s, and the entire collection of the “Red Shoe Diaries”.

The authors were having a blast. Rosalie was doing everyone’s hair, Alice was picking out outfits and even Bella seemed to be enjoying herself, which I suspect was partly due to the fact that she wasn’t the center of attention. Once everybody was donning new attire, Rose hooked up the new LED TV to the surround sound system and we started the first movie as we settled in for manicures and pedicures. It was perfect, just like Alice had planned.

The late night soon gave away to early morning and sleep finally managed to claim me; the erotic scenes from the movies Alice had picked out, still flashing behind my eyelids.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Inspired by the party festivities and since it’s a holiday weekend, I doubt anyone will have large blocks of time to invest in reading, but I want to make sure nobody will suffer from withdrawal either. So all my offerings this week are only one citrus-filled chapter and to make them extra special, I’ve pair each and every tale with its own mixed shot. Without further delay, I offer you the delights of my dirty dozen:

Nosy Neighbors TwiGirl Revolution Submission by dirtybrat	Dracula's Kiss 1 part Rum, coconut (Captain Morgan's Parrot Bay) 1 part Liqueur, raspberry (Chambord) 1 part Pineapple Juice Mixing Instructions Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into shot glass
Unbeknownst to her neighbor Edward, Rosalie is a Dom with a brand new pet, Emmett. After a particularly loud session, Edward comes knocking on her door to see who's been 'murdered'. Rose lures him in, and he stays for a while. In chains. Well he asked for it!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6049167

Apple Pie a la Mode 1 part Rum, vanilla (Bacardi) 1 part Rum, apple (Bacardi Big Apple) 1 part Schnapps, cinnamon (Hot Damn) Mixing Instructions Pour equal parts into shot class.	On the Double by MasenVixen
	It's Bella's first day on the job as a body double in the new Edward Masen film. First up? The sex scene...
	http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5782757

F Stop by SweetT129	Seduction 1/2 oz. Irish Cream (Bailey's) 1/2 oz. Kahlua 1/2 oz. Liqueur, melon Mixing Instructions Pour the Kahlua into a shot glass. Carefully layer the Melon Liqueur, then the Irish Cream on top.
Carlisle is a photographer who is tired of his insecure model not working to her potential. He decides that she needs a bit more instruction to make her feel comfortable in her own skin, and he's just the one to give it to her.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5785888

Dammit PJ 1/2 shot Rum, lemon 1/2 shot Lemon Juice Sugar, cubes Mixing Instructions Fill a large shot glass half full of lemon rum, then fill the other half with lemon juice. Put a sugar cube in your mouth and bite down, then shoot, swish, and swallow!	Art Model by dollegirl
	Bella needs money. Her friend convinces her to do a little nude modeling for an art class, but she’s not alone.
	http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4640900

Exchange by BoydBlog	Bad Habit 1/2 oz. Schnapps, peach 1/2 oz. Vodka Mixing Instructions Combine ingredients in a shot glass
Bella has a Third Date Rule. Would it delude her into continuing with the not so perfect date? Sometimes fate intervenes to correct an imbalance. Not even the location can deter frenzied would-be soul mates.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5907967

6 A.M. 1 part Schnapps, peppermint 1 part Liqueur, coffee (Starbucks) Mixing Instructions Drink up!	Everything I'm Wanting by contagiously
	Bella thought she had her life figured out; until a charismatic stranger overhears her embarrassing phone call and shows her everything she was missing.
	http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6224176

Two Sides of the Same by Auburn.One	Auburn Headbanger 1 part Goldschläger 1 part Jägermeister Mixing Instructions Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into shot glasses
Bella and Edward are two sides of the same coin, yin and yang, six of one, half dozen of another. Find out what happens when two night-life acquaintances are thrown into a business meeting together.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5568504

Chocolate Devil 3/4 oz. Amaretto 3/4 oz. Godiva, dark chocolate 3 drops Rum, overproof/151 proof 1 cube Sugar, cubes Mixing Instructions Pour Godiva into glass. Float Amaretto on top. Add 3 drops of 151 to sugar cube. Light the sugar cube on fire. Drop the shot into the glass and shoot the whole thing.	Dark Like Chocolate by dariachenowith
	Bella is a vampire and Edward is human. "I know a lot of things about you," she tells him, letting she smile lure him in. "I know where you work. Where you live. And I know tonight's the night all your dreams come true."
	http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5977485

Just Thinking One Shot by AmoreBella88	Bride To Be 1 part Curacao, blue 1 part Liqueur, banana 1 part Rum, mango 2 parts Pineapple Juice 1 splash Sprite Mixing Instructions Shake all ingredients except Sprite with ice. Strain into shot glasses and float Sprite on top.
Bella awoke in the middle of the night to his side of the bed empty. What happened next could only be described as one of the best nights of her life.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5948576

Love Potion # 9 1 part Liqueur, vanilla 1 part Cranberry Juice, White 6 drops Grenadine 4 drops Lime Juice Mixing Instructions Add equal parts white cranberry juice and vanilla liqueur into a shot glass. Add a few drops of grenadine and lime juice.	Always & More by miztrezboo
	One hot, steamy night in Rio and a candle lit alley lead to something a little on the smutty side
	http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5603063

Bad Girlfriend by Infinitypoet and Nolebucgrl	Brunettes Can Be Sluts Too 2 parts Whiskey, Canadian (Crown Royal) 1 part Liqueur, raspberry 2 parts Triple Sec 2 parts Cranberry Juice 2 parts Sprite Mixing Instructions Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into glass.
What happens when Bella pushes Edwards buttons by flirting with other men?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6280092

Lemonade Shooter 1/2 oz. Triple Sec 1/2 oz. Vodka, lemon 1 oz. Lemonade Mixing Instructions Shake all ingredients with ice. Strain into shot glass. Finish with a squeeze of lemon juice for an added kick if desired.	Something New by mskathy
	Bella surprises Jasper, after a business trip, with a little something new in the bedroom.
	http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6049040

So until next week, have a safe and happy Labor Day Weekend. Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message, or email (fanficdealer@gmail.com) if you want to talk shop.

The deal has been made. ;)

::Team Breaking Dawn:: Breaking Dawn's Birth Scene Onscreen: "As Intense As It Is in the Book"

As gruesome as it may be, Bella's big birthing scene in Breaking Dawn can't come soon enough.


But until then, here's an update on what to expect…

Screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg tells me she's been in Baton Rouge with director Bill Condon doing rewrites for the scripts for the two BD movies.

"We're working on it," Rosenberg says of baby Renesmee's less-than-pretty arrival. "And we're working on it to be as intense as it is in the book."

Yikes. That could be a whole lotta gore.

"I don't think it's about the amount of blood you show," Rosenberg says. "It's about the intensity of it. It's on their faces. It's all from Bella's point of view when you're seeing what's going. It should feel visceral. I think it's going to be pretty intense."

What's Rosenberg's ETA on the final scripts? "It better damn well be before the beginning of November," she says, "because that's when we start shooting."



SOURCE

::Team Eclipse:: Nominees Announced For The 2010 Spike Sream Awards

The Spike Scream Awards 2010 will air October 19th, 9:00–11:00 PM!

Best Fantasy Actor – Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga Eclipse

Ultimate Scream – The Twilight Saga Eclipse

Best Fantasy Movie – The Twilight Saga Eclipse

Best Fantasy Actress - Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga Eclipse

Breakout Performance - Male - Xavier Samuel, The Twilight Saga Eclipse

!!!GO VOTE!!!

:: Team Emmett :: Kellan Lutz and the St. Bernard Project

His charity never ceases to amaze me. Kellan Lutz has decided to keep building houses with the St. Bernard Project in St. Bernard, LA. And since he and other cast members will be around come November, he wants all to get involved in this wonderful project he holds dear.

Check out this article from the Twilight Examiner , where Kellan Lutz speaks with OK Magazine about helping out with the St. Bernard Project:

"He told the publication that he hopes to bring the set to this work when possible. "It would be a great surprise for everyone" if he could get someone like Robert Pattinson to help, he said, "Although I would have to take video of Rob trying to hammer a nail, he might hurt himself.""

You can see the entire article here: http://www.examiner.com/twilight-in-national/twilight-star-kellan-lutz-gets-busy-for-st-bernard-project-and-plans-to-through-breaking-dawn

Source: Twilight Examiner via email

::TEAM BREAKING DAWN:: New Memeber of The Cast - Rami Malek

Breaking Dawn director has cast Rami in the second part of the movie:


Malek told ET that he was thrilled about his upcoming role in "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2." "I think it's going to be great," said Malek. "It's going to be super exciting and I'm thrilled,"

Malek said of joining the superstar cast that includes Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner.

Malek's part is listed as on IMDb "Benjamin," a character who we all remember to be very earth-changing in Breaking Dawn.

Who is Benjamin? Benjamin is a manipulator of elements—earth, air, fire, and water. Check his vampire bio at Twilight Lexicon

SOURCE

Wishing our Coven Leader Lisa

a Great Big Sparkly Happy Birthday

from everyone who is a part of Dr Cullen's Love Shack!

Have a brilliant day full of fun, love and Cullen Men!!!

::Team Edward:: Robert Pattinson listed as one of "Hollywood's 15 Best Kissers"

Recently, Hollywoodlife.com had the pleasure of interviewing several of hollywood ladies about who they would claim as the best liplock. I'm sure it's no surprise to most of us that gorgeous Robert Pattinson made the list.

Rob’s Bel Ami co-star Christina Ricci says, “He’s a sweet guy and super
funny…and a really good kisser.” [Hollywoodlife.com]

Just watching him on screen makes my blood boil, so I couldn't imagine that he'd be able to make that many woman swoon if he weren't completely brag worthy!

SOURCE: Hollywoodlife.com

::Team Carlisle:: Peter Comments on Being Named 'Worst Movie Vampire' by Rolling Stone Magazine

In the recent list published by Rolling Stone Magazines film critic, Peter Travers, named the 10 best and 5 worst vampires on film and TV. Two of our favorite "Twilight" men made the list.

Robert Pattinson was listed as number 10 on the best list because of his "Byronic good looks that are unfakably hypnotic".

Peter Facinelli was listed as number 1 on the worst list. The critic claims that "he looks about as terrifying as Project Runway winner Austin Scarlett, whom Carlisle closely resembles."

Well, on August 25th, Facinelli tweeted a response to being on the list:

Of course, Bella's first impression of him is that "He was young, he was blond . . . and he was handsomer than any movie star I’d ever seen.", [Stephenie Meyer, twilight]. So, I don't think that the fandom really cares that he's not scary, we'd rather have a vamp looks good enough for us to bite!

Source: Rolling Stone

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

Hey! Now that the kiddies are back in school, it’s a great time to catch-up on your fan fiction or re-read some of your favorites. So, if you’re craving something to do while you wait on your favorite munchkins to get done with their stuff, Lab Tech Andi’s pulled together a few options to keep you busy. Follow these instructions carefully and make sure you have all your supplies: find the blue door behind the Love Shack, knock George Michaels “Freedom” and the password this week is “Silent Bliss”. Be Safe!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Do you know what I love most about going back to school?” Alice exclaimed as she came bounding through the lab door and quickly settled herself in the chair on the other side of my desk.

“The stimulating learning environment?” I responded in a deadpanned tone and then burst into a fit of giggles behind my computer monitor. I’d been working so much lately that I was slightly sleep deprived and not eating regular meals either. Thankfully, Emmett had wandered in earlier in the day and brought me some zucchini bread. It was the only thing had around to eat.

Alice narrowed her eyes at me as I attempted to stifle my giggling by putting my hands over my mouth. “No,” she continued to study me, “the deals are usually quite good, so it’s an excellent time to pick-up new things. Maybe you should come with me; I think some time away from the lab might do you some good.” Then I burst into a laughing fit so big that I would have fallen backwards in my chair if it hadn’t been for Alice catching me.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked as she set me back up and I tried to catch my breath.

“It’s just sleep deprivation. Besides, I can’t afford to go shopping with you right now. Your family wiped me out last week playing poker.” I told her still trying to gather my sanity.

“No, I think it’s something else,” she said as she started looking around the room, picking things up and examining them. Then she picked up the bread that Emmett brought me and sniffed it. “How much of this have you eaten?” she asked placing it back on the desk.

“Well, it’s the only thing I’ve eaten today and I’ve been starving, so probably half the loaf?” I responded.

So quick, I nearly missed it, she pulled her phone out and dialed a number, “DAMN IT, EMMETT! HOW COULD YOU?” she yelled into the phone. “Oh, she’s relaxed alright! SHE’S HALF STONED OUT OF HER FREAKIN’ MIND!!” Then she slammed the phone shut and slid it back in her pocket.

“Andi, honey?” she leaned over and spoke to me gently as though she were speaking to a small child. “Emmett thought you needed to relax, so the bread he brought you was laced with marijuana. It was only a little bit, but you’ve eaten a lot of that bread. You might think you need sleep, but I need to get you out of this lab for a little while. You’re coming with me.” Without even waiting for my acceptance, she picked me up and flew out the door.

As the trees blurred passed us, it sort of reminded me how time or multi-dimensional travel looks on TV and movies and I started to giggle again as I thought of Alice running me to an alternate universe. She looked at me again and shook her head, “You are no longer allowed to eat anything Emmett brings you, do you understand?” I nodded my head knowing that if I even attempted to open my mouth I’d end up laughing again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well, I really couldn’t be mad at Emmett, he honestly thought he was being a helpful. How was he to know I have a sensitive system and medication of any kind has a really strong effect on me? So while I recovered from my brief stoner moment, surrounded by school supplies, I thought about those long bygone school days. That time in your life when you’re allowed to do stupid things and do-overs are granted like wishes at the whisper of an apology.

Like the genie in the lamp, I’ll grant you three wishes this week. Sadly, I only have the power to grant my own, so I hope you enjoy them.

Wish #1: time travel
Granted by a little fic called “Living Backwards” by ciaobella27. In this recently completed, all human, fic, Bella is coerced into signing up for a Facebook account by Alice. She wasn’t very social in high school and didn’t become friends with Alice and Rosalie until they met at NYU despite the fact that they all went to high school together. So to be suddenly thrown into the world of social networking, with people she didn’t even know back then is pure torture, until Edward Cullen accepts her friend request. He was barely a blip on her radar in high school, but seeing his profile picture has given her a slight case of cyberstalker disease and now she’s curious about all the “What if’s”. Wouldn’t you be?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5074723
http://www.twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=5185

Wish #2: second chance
Granted by WndrngY in “Something Stupid”. Edward has been in love with Bella since the first time she tripped over his feet, she just doesn’t know it. What she does know is that Edward is one of her closest friends and he’s notorious for his talents in the bedroom. So when she discovers that her boyfriend, James, was cheating on her while he was at college, she gets drunk and makes Edward an ‘indecent proposal’. Being with her is like a dream come true for him, only he’s just not sure he wanted to win her quite like this. Mostly told by Edward, this completed, all human, tale is full of misunderstanding, forgiveness, and second chances. Will either of them ever get what they really wanted? You’ll have to read to find out.
http://www.twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=2616

Wish #3: someplace new
Granted through my third completed offering titled “Out of Her Head” by Blue25. Bella and Jacob have been practically raised as siblings but Bella has a problem. She’s in love with him, and he only sees her as a sister. Devastated by this revelation, Bella can’t stand on the sidelines anymore and decides to escapes her troubles by moving to Chicago to teach at a prestigious prep school, Cullen Academy. Enter Edward Cullen, the mysterious and sexy music teacher, who can't seem to make up his mind how he feels about his new colleague. As Bella settles into her own life, she discovers that Edward may be keeping secrets of his own. Even with all his secrets, Edward would have me saying “Jacob who?” at first glance.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4829568
http://www.twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=2113

Now usually I suggest a drink to go with my deals, but since it’s back to school time and I’ve got the munchies, here’s an excellent recipe for “Zucchini Apple Bread”

Ingredients
4 eggs
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup applesauce
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
2 cups peeled, grated zucchini
1 cup peeled, grated apple

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease 2 - 9x5 inch loaf pans.
In a large bowl, combine eggs, white sugar, brown sugar, oil and vanilla until well blended. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. Stir flour mixture into egg mixture. Fold in walnuts, zucchini and apple. Pour into prepared pans.
Bake 1 hour, or until top springs back when touched lightly in center. Let cool in pans 10 minutes before removing to wire rack to cool completely.

Until next week, I’ll be saying a silent eulogy for the brain cells I killed this week and baking my own bread. Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message, or email (fanficdealer@gmail.com) if you want to talk shop.

The deal has been made. ;)

::TEAM BREAKING DAWN: Breaking Dawn Crew Concerned Over Shooting in Rio?

Although part of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn will be filmed in Rio de Janeiro, the Breaking Dawn plans in Rio may be shelved after a recent firefight and hostage taking incident gave cause for concern.


According to ABC News, the film crew for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn is uneasy about shooting scenes for Breaking Dawn in Rio de Janeiro after a hostage situation at an upscale hotel over the weekend. Riofilme, the company promoting film production in the city, reveals that because of the hostage situation and ensuing firefight, Summit Entertainment is in emergency talks with city officials.

Although original plans called for scenes from Breaking Dawn to be played out in Rio, the incident with a drug gang and their act of taking thirty five people hostage over the weekend may prove scarier for the Breaking Dawn film crew than any vampires or werewolves ever could.

I don't know about anyone else but I don't think any fan wants to put ANY of the cast in danger just to make the movie. Relocate or wait it out. Whats your opinion???

SOURCE