Friday, May 13, 2011

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

In the twi-universe this day should practically be a holiday for today is Mr. Robert Pattinson’s 25th Birthday. All over the internet you’ll find twi-blogs celebrating in their own ways, but since it’s Friday at the Love Shack, Lab Tech Andi has found a few marvelous fics that demonstrate just how great it really is to be 25. So, head to the blue door at the back of the shack, knock 25 times and when you’re asked for the password, in your best breathy Marilyn Monroe voice, sing: “Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday Mr. Pattinson, Happy Birthday to You!” Be Safe!


On this day 25 years ago:
  • “West End Girls” by The Pet Shop Boys was number one on the Billboards charts.
  • In the United States:
  • The Average Cost of new house was around $89,430.00
  • The Average Income per year was about $22,400.00
  • If you rented where you lived, you might have paid around $385.00 per month
  • If you bought a new car it was around $9,255.00 and a gallon of gas was only 89 cents
  • A Casio Portable Color Television would have set you back around $249.99
  • If you were lucky enough, you might have had a Tandy 600 Portable Computer which would have cost around $1599.00

In the United Kingdom:
  • A house would have cost around 44,040 pounds
  • A Gallon of Petrol was an astonishing 1.89 pounds
  • And in a hospital in London, a tiny Robert Douglas Thomas Pattinson was born.

So, considering that none of the Cullens could even remember the age of 25, I knew they wouldn’t be any help to me on this one. Turning 25 is a big step and although we all want to wish Rob the happiest of birthdays, I wanted to take the time to tell our darling man all the things that are great about turning 25, so earlier this week I asked “What sort of things do you think he should look forward to at this age? What's great about 25?”

Well, for one, dearest Rob, your car insurance will go down, because now they’ll finally consider you a man. To celebrate this little milestone, I truly feel you should take a road trip. See the largest ball of yarn, the biggest bottle of ketchup, sleep in a teepee, just hit the back roads and let the wind whip through your hair.

Next, you’ll be able to rent a car without an underage surcharge. Not really sure how much of a concern this was for you, since I doubt you rent your own cars, but hey there you go.

Then one of our lovely members on our Facebook page, a Ms. Jennifer, commented, “You really start discovering who you are. Things that used to seem soooo all-important suddenly aren't that important in the scheme of things. You start to worry less about gaining other people's approval and more about achieving what you want for no reason other than fulfilling your own self.” You might not be there yet, but these are wise words and I know you’ll get there once you finally get the chance to breathe.

Once you reach this age, (assuming they’ll let you) you’ll be able to celebrate your birthday with a very small group of people without all the fanfare, if that’s how you want it and no one will fuss at you for it.

You’ll soon come to understand why investing in good shoes, good sheets, and good tires is completely and totally worthwhile. You can finally make peace with your quirks and understand that people love you because of those things.

It’s finally acceptable to buy good quality furniture for your house without feeling like you’re only “pretending” to be a grown-up.

And of course there were a few suggestions of looking forward to sex with older women. However, I’ll leave that one up to you to work out with the Cougars. ;)


In celebration of our fun recommendations, I thought I’d find a few tales that play off our list so I visited some fellow pimps at The Lemonade Stand to help me find tales that were road trip worthy and Cougarlious. Enjoy!

My first little road trip took me to “Running for Home” by ooza. Edward has never really felt loved or wanted and upon the deathbed of his last known relative, he discovers why. Now all alone, he sets out on a road trip to self discovery. A simple wrong turn leads him to cross paths with Bella, a young woman looking for a break from the expectations everyone else has for her. She’s always been the responsible one, making decisions to please everyone else, but she just can’t take it anymore. By risking it all and joining together to travel a path that’s a little unfamiliar, they may come to find that the destination really isn’t so unknown, but not exactly what they expected either.

Next, I ended up spend time in “Cougar Town” by OzellaMarie. Where Bella Swan is 42 years old and recently divorced from a man who couldn’t stay true. Now that her 25 year-old son, Jasper, has a thriving auto repair business of his own and is about to tie the knot, she feels like she’s starting over again. She’s completely free and the only person she has to take care of is herself. So when her son’s business partner, Edward Cullen, starts making regular appearances in her fantasies, will be open enough to make these fantasies real? What if she’s not the only one with fantasies?

Once I escaped their clutches I was on the road again in a sweet little one shot called “Free” by GreenEyedGirl17. Bella and Edward have spent every waking minute together in the same tiny, boring town all their lives as best friends. However, graduation approaches they can’t stop talking about taking one last adventure before the distance of college separates them. So with a great deal of planning, they embark on a road trip that may possibly change everything they thought they knew about each other.

But the cougars finally caught up to me in this lust one shot titled “In The Light of Day” by TKegl. Here, Bella Swan just found out that her ex-husband is engaged to the woman who broke up their marriage. In an attempt to self medicate her woes, her well meaning friends decide she needs to get drunk and get laid. So, when Mr. Right Now shows up and turns out to be half her age, she’s just a little leery, but three orgasms later and age is no long an issue. Knowing that she’d never intended this to turn into anything; she was out of his bed before dawn. But karma had other plans and when Mr. Right Now turns into Mr. Boss Man, will they be able to get passed this?

Now I was also informed by Ms. Anja, that in Denmark, it’s a tradition if a person isn't married before turning 25, they get lots and lots of cinnamon. So instead of cake I think all these fics should have “Cinnamon Rolls”

2 packages dry yeast
1/2 cup hot water
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 tsp sugar
4 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup hot milk
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2 eggs

1/2 cup butter
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons cinnamon

1 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespoons hot milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
Mix bread ingredients in food processor. Let rise. Roll out. Spread with butter. Sprinkle rest of filling ingredients over. Roll up. Cut into slices. Place

in greased pans. Let rise. Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes. Cool and ice.

But if you’re not the baking type, here’s something to help quench you’re thirst, it’s an “Apple-Cinnamon Martini”

3/4oz Apple Schnapps (Apple Pucker)
1/4oz Cinnamon Schnapps (Goldschlager)
2oz Vodka

Mixing Directions
In a mixing glass filled with ice, combine vodka, apple pucker, and goldschlager. Shake and strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

So, Happy Birthday Rob and until next week. Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email ( if you want to talk shop.

The deal has been made. ;)