Friday, April 15, 2011

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

There are times when you feel like you’re starving, but you know you’re not hungry. It’s a craving that burns deeper than the bodies call for nourishment; it’s the soul’s craving for something else and it’s trying to tell you what it needs. So, in those times of need, Lab Tech Andi, has found soul food for your mind and hopefully it’s enough. So head to the blue door, knock the kitchy John Zackerley tune “Dinner with drac" and the password is “Culinary”. Be Safe!


“OH MY GOD! WHERE’S THE FIRE EXTINGUSHER?” I heard someone yell over the sound of the alarms that were blaring all around us.

“IT’S UNDER THE SINK, BUT I CAN’T GET OVER THERE!” I heard another yell. I looked over and saw that I had a clear path to the sink, so I rushed over and flung the cabinet door wide. Sitting in plain view was the bright red fire extinguisher. I quickly grabbed it out of the cabinet, raced over to the kitchen island, pulled the pin and squeezed the lever, extinguishing not only Emmett’s attempt at Cherries Jubilee, but the wooden pot rack he had set ablaze when he lit the dish.

“CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TURN OFF THAT ALARM?” I yelled into the smoke that was currently engulfing the kitchen.

“JASPER’S ON IT, BUT I THINK WE SHOULD…” Alice had started yelling beside me when the alarms were suddenly silenced. “…Go outside while the smoke clears.” She finished in a normal voice and took the extinguisher from me.

As I stepped out on the back patio, I could see that most of the Cullen’s and the few authors who had joined me at the main house had all safely made it outside, for which I was thankful. “Is everybody ok?” I asked to the group and I got a few mumbled “yea’s” and “fine’s” as a response. Satisfied that everyone had managed to escape Emmett’s culinary disaster uninjured, I wandered over to a patio chair and plopped down.

Closing my eyes, I leaned back against the chair and thought about how silly this whole thing was. I mean, honestly, why in the world would a bunch of vampires want to have an epic cook-off when they don’t even eat the food?

“Because Emmett loves a competition, and he’s an idiot.” Edward said from the chair beside me; I opened my eyes and rolled my head so that I was looking in his direction. He continued, “He knows that not a single one of these human authors could beat him in a physical challenge, and he could probably think faster than most of them too, but cooking… that’s subjective to the diner’s palette and not something that can be done with speed.”

“But he should have kept it simple instead of trying to prepare something with flare.” Bella added walking over to us and settling herself in Edward’s lap.

“He had flare alright!” He said with a chuckle and wrapped his arms around her.

She looked at him, “kiss”.

He smiled, “Gladly, Love” and moved his face toward hers.

“No Silly!” and she laughed as he pulled away with a slight pout. “K. I. S. S. Keep It Simple Stupid.”

I heard a deep baritone laugh float through the open door and following the sound was Emmett strolling through the door over toward us. “I’m so glad to hear that Bella’s finally come to her senses and realized Edward is stupid.” Edward growled at him, but it only made Emmett’s smile even bigger.

“No Emmett, you’re stupid.” Edward grumbled to him. “Why would you try making a dish that involved fire? For heaven’s sake, even the range in that kitchen is electric, for a very good reason!”

“Emeril made it look so easy, Bro! And everybody loves ice cream or at least that’s what they tell me.” Emmett said with a slight shrug, putting his hands in his pockets. “I guess I put too much brandy in.”

From the side of my vision, I saw a blonde blur coming towards us and grab Emmett. Rosalie stood in front of him silently yanking his hands from his pockets and appeared to be inspecting every inch of him. Once she was satisfied, she smacked the side of his head with her hand and then threw her arms around his neck. “Don’t ever do that again!” she mumbled into his neck. Emmett returned her embrace, holding her tight against him.

Loosening his grip, he leaned back to look her in the eyes, “Don’t ever cook? Or light things on fire?”

She wacked him in the head once more, “Scare me you idiot! Don’t scare me like that!”

She hugged him again, and he mumbled into her hair, “Ok baby, next time I’ll stick to sandwiches.” Finally, Rose gave a little laugh and let him go.

“Well, you may get to display your sandwich making skills very soon because it’s going to take a few hours to get that smoke out.” Alice said joining the rest of us.

“We could do it out here, but instead of making it a big production, let’s just set everything out and people can make their own.” I suggested. “I’ve had enough productions for one day.”

“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, Andi. It’s going to rain, but we could move this little party to the shack and grab a few movies to show on the flat screen.” Alice countered.

“Ok, that sounds great. I’ll drive the authors back and we’ll meet you there.” I said rising from the chair. Then began the task of corralling everyone in the car.


So while Emmett has clearly displayed a need for cooking lessons from Edward, I have found a few culinary tales to tempt more than just your taste buds.

My first dish features a succulent appetizer called “Isabella Bites” by GreenPuma. This marvelous recipe has two main ingredients, Isabella Swan, a famous television chef, and Carlisle Cullen, a cosmetic surgeon with a highly honed culinary skill of his own. Throw in an adorable dog named Cujo, a cookbook, a month in Longport, with a dash of Carlisle secret ingredient and you have one incredible romance. I’m not sure if there’s more to this story to come, but it’s an excellent and satisfying one-shot, even if this is all we get.

My next dish is certain to get your taste buds ready and is a wonderful compliment to any meal called “The Baker's Magic Buns” by ciaobella27. This recipe will delight your senses with wonderful aromas and childhood delights as you bite into the plight of the Baker of Storybook Land. Dr. Swan, therapist to the mystical beings of Storybook Land, has been brought in by the Butcher and Candlestick Maker in an attempt to find the Baker a solution to his problem. But I will warn you, this dish tastes incredible, but is a little like Chinese food; you’ll be hungry for more in about an hour, so prepare as often as you dare.

My next dish is incredible if you’re looking for a light meal titled “Molto Bella” by ObsessingOverEdward. After spending several years away from the place he grew up, Edward is returning home. He’s paid his dues in the kitchen and even successfully run his own New York restaurant; so now, as a food critic, he’s pretty demanding. However, Edward is completely unprepared when he runs into Bella, an up-and-coming chef in her own restaurant, who could match him step by stubborn step. This is a tale that’s just as savory and simple as the Feta Burger Bella makes in it and as sweet as Bella’s slightly untraditional Tiramisu.

Now this dish is bitter sweet and a bit on the heavy side, but every bit delicious called “The Diner” by Jessypt. Bella is a broken woman looking to return to the only safe place she’s known. Without a plan to put her life back together, she manages to find peace in baking her unique cupcakes and waitressing in a small diner in Forks. The staff of this diner is small and family like and willing to do whatever it takes to protect their own. However, will all their efforts be enough to keep Bella safe? Will Edward’s love for her be enough to heal her shattered soul?

My final dish is something beautiful called “Wild” by PeppahLouie. After a the very tragic murder of her father and husband, Bella makes the decision to get away from all the small town gossip and move to Seattle to start the life she had been neglecting. Upon moving to the big city, she reaches out to a casual friend, Alice, who along with her brother Edward, owns one of the hottest restaurants in Seattle. What Bella doesn’t know is that Edward has been celibate by choice for 2 years, because his last relationship went to wrong. Will Edward be able to let his guard down and finally trust someone else? Is Bella that person?

So, to go with all these, I’m going to give you the recipe for Cherries Jubilee, but you have to promise that you won’t set your own house on fire.

1 pint vanilla ice cream
1 pound fresh, ripe sweet cherries, such as Bing
1/4 cup dark brown sugar
1/4 cup sugar
1 lemon
1/3 cup cherry brandy

Evenly scoop the ice cream into 4 dishes or decorative glasses and put in the freezer until ready to serve (this can be done up to 4 hours ahead).

Wash and pit the cherries. Put the cherries and sugar in a large skillet. Peel 2 strips of zest from the lemon in wide strips with a peeler and add to the cherries. Squeeze the juice of half the lemon over the top. Stir to combine evenly. Cover and cook the cherries over medium-low heat until the sugar dissolves, about 4 minutes. Uncover and cook over medium-high until cherries get juicy, about 5 minutes more.

To flambe the brandy: If cooking over a gas flame, pull the pan off the heat and add the rum. Ignite the alcohol with a long match or one held with tongs. Swirl the pan slightly until the flames subside, about 30 seconds.

If cooking over an electric stove, put the brandy in a small sauce pan. Warm it over medium-low heat and carefully light it with a long match or one held with tongs. Pour the lit brandy over the cherries, and swirl the pan lightly until the flames subside, about 30 seconds.

Ladle the cherries and their juices over prepared ice cream scoops. Serve immediately.

So, until next week, Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email (

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