Friday, April 8, 2011

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

I knew you’d be back; you just can’t stay away. I’ve got your brand of addiction right here and you want to know what’s in it, don’t ya? Well, now I can’t give away all my secrets, but I will tell you Lab Tech Andi is full is mysteries this week and there’s a crime in the lab. Of course, if you really need somethin’, tread carefully to the blue door behind the shack and knock the melody of Reba McEntire’s “The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia” and you’ll need to know that the password is “Clue”. Be Safe!


It was an unusually dark and stormy morning and if it weren't for the forest, the wind would have had the strength to blow someone into the next state. So without any hesitation, I rushed in the lab, quickly closing the door behind me. Only after I flicked the light switch and remained in complete blackness did I become acutely aware that the only sound in the entire lab was the rain dripping off my coat and my own breathing.

“Hello?” I shouted into the darkness walking further into the room. That’s when I noticed a slender figure wrapped in the dark trench coat standing by the window. I jumped back in surprise; hands flying to my heart which was now nearly trying to beating its way out of my body.

“I'm so sorry, Andi! I didn't mean to scare you,” I heard the familiar voice cooed and I let out my breath in a big gust as I realized it was only Esme.

“What’s going on? And where is everybody?” I asked walking toward her. Since she could see perfectly, she met me half way and wrapped her hand around my arm.

“The wind knocked the power out, so we took all the authors to the main house. It has backup generators, so they could keep working.” She explained, but continued to hold me close to her side. “However, there’s something not right in here. I could smell it when I came to pick them all up, but I didn’t want to frighten anyone so I didn’t say anything. Once I got them settled, I came back to check it out.”

I uselessly scanned the darkness, while Esme guided me through the room. “I think there’s a camping lantern in the closet. If we get that, I’ll finally be able to see.” I told her. Once we reached the closet, I heard her hand turn the door knob and then I was yanked backwards, knocking the breath out of me as I heard the thud of something hitting the floor.

“What the hell was that?” I asked catching my breath again. Esme gasped. A bright light was suddenly shining in our direction.

“It’s a body.” I heard another familiar voice say. Carlisle handed me a flashlight.

“Oh my God! It’s not one of my authors, is it?” I moved to rush toward the body that was now covered by a sheet, but Esme held me where we were.

“No Andi! It’s not one of the authors,” Carlisle said. “It’s not anyone we know.” He told me, I’m sure to try and calm me, but the adrenaline running through my veins continued to make my heart beat faster. “Jasper, can you please help her?” I felt a cool hand slip into my own and my heart slowed, however the excess adrenaline made me feel exhausted. As my legs started to buckle under me, Jasper swept me up and carried me over to a chair and Alice came over.

“How could you not see this, Alice? Humans don’t get murdered in my lab! How can I ask them to come here on Fridays, if there’s danger around?” I asked looking at her; she wrapped her tiny arms around me.

“I don’t know why I didn’t see; something is blocking me, but we’ll figure this out, I promise.” Alice said with conviction.

I shone the flashlight at the body and saw that Carlisle was examining the body. “That’s so odd. There are all these tiny puncture wounds in the body and there’s dirt everywhere.”

“Emmett and I scanned the forest just outside the shack and we didn’t find anything.” Edward said as he and Emmett walked in.

“No, I don’t suppose you would. Edward come here and smell this,” Carlisle said waving his over. “What do you smell? It’s familiar, isn’t it?”

Edward’s eyes widened slightly, “Hummingbird Mints!” Then he looked at Esme.

I glanced between the both of them, confused. Esme glared back at him “Edward! I did not kill a human in my garden and bring them here! What would be my reasoning?”

“I don’t know Esme, but you’re the only person in the entire state who can manage to get Hummingbird mints to thrive in this zone and you were the first person here, so you tell me?”

I launched myself out of the chair and put myself between them. “Now wait just one minute!” I said to the both of them and then turned my full attention to Edward. “I’m sure you can see in her mind that Esme did not kill this person.”

“Actually, I can’t because she’s blocking me.” Edward growled.

“Then there has to be a clue in Esme’s garden,” I proclaimed. “Why don’t you go check it out?”

“Fine, but we’ll figure out if you’re hiding anything.” Edward said glaring directly at Esme, then flew out the door.

“Thank you for trusting me” Esme said to me guiding me back to the chair.

“Well, according to Charlie, there aren’t any new missing person reports.” Bella said strolling into the room.

“And all the bodies in the hospital morgue are all accounted for.” Rosalie announced as she walked through the door. Now I was really confused, why would Rose be checking the morgue?
Jasper sensed my confusion and whispered in my ear, “Just in case the death happened at the hospital and the body didn’t make it to the morgue.” I nodded and mouthed a silent ‘oh’.

Edward burst back through the door and raced to stand in front of Alice. “Care to explain why your price tagging gun was in the garden?”

“I know you’re not trying to say that I killed a human in Esme’s garden.”

“Well, you didn’t trying to prevent it, so what else are we to assume?”

“Watch it Edward,” Alice hissed back at him, “you know what happens when you assume.” Emmett stifled a giggled in the corner. Alice continued, “Besides, I loaned that tagging gun to Charlie for his yard sale.”

All at once, every eye in the room turned to Bella. I could hear several people in the room declare a quiet ‘NO’. Bella lifted her head, and then moved to flee, but Edward caught her. He put his face to her hair and inhaled deeply, taking in the faint scent of Hummingbird mints.

“So, Bella killed a human in Esme’s garden with Alice’s tagging gun?” I asked quite confused as to why she would go to all the trouble when she could have simply done it with her hands. “And how did Alice not see that?”

“Oh Bella! You had Renesmee with you didn’t you?” Alice asked with slight excitement. Now I was really confused, why would Alice be excited?

“I think it’s time to fill Andi in. Her confusion is getting worse with each passing discovery.” Jasper stated to the group.

“Why don’t you come see the body?” Carlisle said gesturing me over.

“I don’t want to see any dead body!”

“It’ll be fine, trust me,” Esme took my arm and walked me over to where Carlisle was. He pulled the sheet back and I slammed my eyes shut. Esme squeezed my hand, “Open your eyes honey.” I gasped when the body that lay beneath the sheet was a Rescue Annie doll.

“Wait! I don’t understand, I thought there was a real person here, what’s going on?” I asked, looking at all of them.

Emmett walked over to take my arm and guide me back to the chair, “When the weather’s bad, it’s boring to be stuck inside with nothing to do and board games are just too easy, so a few years ago we decided to play a game of Clue Cullen style.” Emmett grinned as he explained and set me back in my seat.

“Each of us has a designated item and a place; the entire town is our game board and the CPR dummy is our victim.” Alice said placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Damn! That sounds so fun, but you scared the hell out of me!” I scowled at them.

Emmett lowered himself to eye level with me, “Sorry we scared you, but it was great playing the game with a witness!” His smile was huge and I couldn’t keep myself smiling back at him. “So, are you up for another game?”

“Sure, but at least I won’t be afraid this time.” I said standing again and the lights flickered to life.

“Cool, let’s get the cards and Renesmee so we can pick our next murderer!” Rose called.

And without warning the lights flickered back out again.


So, while the Cullen’s another game of Clue Fork’s Edition, here are a few other mysteries that you might like:

My first mystery was found in the streets of Paris in a tale called “Girl with a Red Umbrella” by spanglemaker9 and justaskalice. The year is 1950 and Rosalie Hale is missing. After her last living relative passes away, Rosalie decides to leave everything behind and head to Paris to study, but when she vanishes without a trace, her best friend, Bella, comes to find her. Following a trail of clues left behind by Rose's letters, Bella teams up with Rose’s Paris roommate and an assortment of other characters in her search for Rose. But what she finds might be more than she was looking for.

My next mystery was found in an awesome little story called “Bedroom Confessions” by JandMsMommy. At 24, detective Edward Cullen has found himself investigating the perfect murder. Unfortunately, there’s only one witness and she can’t remember anything nor can she stay where she was before. So Edward takes it upon himself to protect this only witness's identity from the murderer. But can he control his feelings for her, and can he handle the secrets she hides?

My last little mystery is perfectly titled “Sweeter Than Anything” by unicornhime. Edward and Jasper are the proprietors of a perfume shop where they are always searching for the perfect scents. Their shop philosophy is that beauty should be shared with the world and all of their custom scents are renowned. But more than anything, what makes these perfumes precious is the secret ingredient that either man would take to the grave. Fair warning, this is a very dark mystery and not for the faint at heart.

So, as with any crime mystery, the only thing suitable to pair them with would be a Martini, but I prefer mine sweet.

2 ½ oz Gin
½ oz Sweet Vermouth
1 twist of Lemon peel

Mixing instructions
In a mixing glass half-filled with ice cubes, combine the gin and vermouth. Stir well. Strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with the lemon twist.

You know, I'm thinking about creating the cards and a game board for Clue Cullen Love Shack Edition so that you can download it. If this is something you really want, Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email (

The deal has been made. ;)