Friday, September 10, 2010

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

Hey, got big plans for the weekend yet? How were you going to celebrate Bella and Renesmee’s birthdays? Well, if you were still undecided about your plans, just go visit Lab Tech Andi. She’s had the authors put together a wonderful assortment of tales to keep you busy all weekend, so when you get to the blue door behind the shack, knock the beat of the traditional “Happy Birthday” song and the password is: “Distraction”. Be Safe!


It was going to be a big weekend; there was just no way of getting around that, so we were getting prepared. It was Renesmee’s and Bella’s birthdays and I had the authors busy putting together stories especially for the occasion. Since neither of them really needed anything and Bella always put up such a fuss if you bought her anything, I figured a selection of stories was the perfect gift. The authors loved the idea and the lab was a very pleasant place to hang out, until Bella came rushing through the door and into my supply closet.

Hesitantly, I knocked on the door, “Bella? Is everything okay?”

“No Andi, it’s not,” she whispered from the other side of the door. “I’m hiding from the evil pixie that is trying to make my existence a living hell.”

“You know she’ll find you in there, right?” I asked stating the obvious. “So why don’t you come out here and tell me what’s going on.”

Slowly she emerged from the closet and sat in a chair facing the giant aquarium that covered one wall. “All I asked was that we keep the whole thing small, just family and friends, but I go to put gas in the Volvo and what do I see? A flyer detailing activities for the whole weekend for the entire city of Forks just to celebrate my birthday!”

I flipped on my computer and navigated to the Forks, WA website. Outlined as clear as day, under the events section were breakfasts, scavenger hunts, tours of the high school, and there was even a ball. “Um, Bella?” I hedged, “This is a lot of stuff, are you sure Alice arranged all this?” I knew Alice could go a little overboard, but I wasn’t so sure about this.

“Who else would have gone to all this trouble?” she dead-panned as she blankly stared at the fish.

That’s when I decided to Google it and saw all the movie releases and other people throwing their own parties. This was way beyond Alice now. “Bella, honey? I don’t think you’re expected to show-up to any of these events, there’s just too many of them.” I told her, trying to keep my voice soothing.

“What do you mean?” swiftly she moved to stand behind me so she could read the screen. “Holy Crow!” she gasped in my ear.

Then, once again the lab door fluttered open and Edward rushed to her side in an instant, “Don’t worry about any of these things, Love. All these people are just looking for a reason to celebrate; Alice had nothing to do with it. Come, we’ll hide out in the cottage all weekend and wait for all the madness to blow-over.” He told her as he wrapped his arms around her. Then looking down to me, “Do you think the authors are up to the task of distracting the masses with their stories?”

I smiled back at him, “Edward, I think they’d be delighted to.” And then I stood, giving Bella a quick hug, “Happy Birthday, Bella. I hope you’re granted the peace you asked for.”

“Thanks, Andi” she hugged me back and then they were out the door.


To entice and distract you from Bella's birthday we thought we'd focus on Renesmee's, so my deals this week are full of children of all types. However, that doesn't mean that these tales aren't of the adult variety.

First up is “Best of Both Worlds” by StarlightSuccubus. This is a saucy little one chapter fic where Edward reflects and talks to Bella about his thoughts about being a father. Bella has other revelations of her own.

Next up is “You Don't Know Anything” by TwiDi. In this in-progress tale, 21 chapters so far, Bella’s mother and step-father are killed by a drunk driver, leaving her with a newborn brother. A strained relationship with her father drives Bella to claim that her baby brother is her own child, that way Charlie won’t force her to give up the last bit of her mother she has left. Suddenly finding herself in Forks with a child, how will she cope with unsaid secrets and the advances of a green-eyed jerk all while unknown dangers are lurking behind every corner. The unique thing about this story is the way the author makes characters like James, Tanya, and Victoria, who are usually portrayed as villains, into remarkable friends and supportive people for Bella in her time of need.

Third, I’ve got “The Rage” by Kismetian. This completed tale of 14 chapters tells the story of how Bella Swan rescues a small green eyed copper haired baby boy from a car stranded in a flooded creek. In turn, she is then rescued by the apparent father, a very angry and untrusting Edward Cullen. Although with his temperament, Bella’s not so sure she trust him to love and care for his own child and what about the boy’s mother. This story is a rollercoaster and Bella’s wit is not to be missed.

Lastly, I have “Bella Swan: Kidnapper” by Kambria Rain. This fun, completed fic shares the story of how Bella Swan, mother of one, meets Edward Cullen, father of two, by unintentionally kidnapping his children. The description of the neighbors in this story is hilarious and the Bella that you see is the cool mom that every child wished they had or had known. It's 23 chapters you will laugh yourself sick reading.

Now, to go along with these tales, I’m going recommend something that even Renesmee could drink and Bella would have found simple enjoyment in.

A Sherbet Float.

2 scoops of lime sherbet
Fill with lemon-lime soda

Mixing instructions
Place sherbet in a tall glass and then fill glass with soda. Enjoy!

Until next week, I’ll be hanging out in the lab trying to keep the party people at bay. Now, blow out your candles and make a wish. Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message, or email ( if you want to talk shop.

The deal has been made. ;)