Friday, May 20, 2011

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

My Lovely Addicts, I’m so saddened that this may very well be my last post. It’s so difficult when things come to an end; it’s really been such a wonderful journey and I’m so honored that you have allowed me to be your dealer. With that said, if this be the end, I, Lab Tech Andi, have taken extra time to pick out a few that I know you would truly regret missing. Therefore, I want you to race to the blue door behind the shack, knock the melody of R.E.M.’s song, “It’s the end of the world as we know it” and the password is “Judgment Day”. Be Safe!


Ever since I’d discovered an app for my phone that would read my latest obsessions to me, I’d listened to the monotone, computer generated voice stream through my headphones everyday on my way to work. So, when I pushed open the door to the lab and was assaulted by darkness and the smell of popcorn, I was completely unprepared.

As I reached for the light switch, I pulled the earbuds out of my ears and the mechanical voice was immediately replaced by the voice of Arnold Schwarzenegger:

“Chill out, dickwad.”
“Great! See, you're getting it!”
“No problemo.”

I turned toward the flat screen to confirm what I was hearing and what I saw made me want to laugh. There was a mountain of pillows setup right in front of the screen, Emmett was perched on the top of the mound as if he were royalty and every single one of my authors were scattered around him passing around huge bowls of popcorn. On the screen, Arnold was talking to a young boy.

“Anyone care to explain what’s going on here?” I asked to the group who hadn’t even noticed I’d walked in.

“Shhhh,” Emmett said in my direction, looking slightly annoyed. “It’s Judgment Day and you’re about as noisy as a herd of elephants. We’re trying to watch the movie, Andi!”

“Well, excuse me, but last I checked, this is my lab and those are my authors and currently they aren’t doing anything.” I argued back at him.

“Awe, come on,” Emmett whined. “According to the internet, it’ll be the end of the world on Saturday and if it really is the end, what difference will it make if they take one day off.”

“Oh really?” I countered. “And what does Alice say? Does she think the end is near?”

“Well, no.”

“See! It is not the end of the world and my authors have things to do.”

“But it’s The Terminator 2: Judgment Day and we still have 2 more Terminator movies to go.”

“Fine Emmett, watch your movies and the authors can stay with you, but I want them back to work when the movies are done.” I turned and rolled my eyes to myself. “I’ll figure out something else to deal on Friday.”

As I walked over to my desk, I heard Arnold’s voice fill the room, “Hasta la vista, baby.” I closed my eyes and shook my head.


Well, since apparently the internet people are claiming Armageddon and Emmett has hi-jacked my authors in favor of The Terminator, I’ve picked out 10 complete epic tales because you obviously won’t have time to get any updates and if you haven’t read them yet, you absolutely have to read them before the world ends. So, here hoping you have the time to enjoy them.

In “Our Lives Unbound” by theladyingrey42, Edward is a socially awkward writer, that’s completely given up on finding the right woman and has convinced his brother to set him up. So, week after monotonous week, he stares into the eyes of a stranger, answering the same questions over and over again, until one day the eyes that look back aren’t so ordinary. Then suddenly he’s then one asking questions too. Will this be what he was looking for all along?

In “Last Tango in Forks” by AwesomeSauce76, When Bella’s father is injured in the line of duty; she decides to move back in with him to take care for him. But the monotony of it all, along with her job, is slowly eating away at her sanity. Then, one day at the gym she sees an opportunity, she knows she has to check out, it’s an apartment. Some place she could be herself. However, what she walks in on, she would never suspect. Could a chance encounter with a mysterious stranger change everything?

In “Parachute” by KitsuShel, Bella is an 18 year-old college student, simply going shopping with her friends when she finds a tiny 3 year old boy, dirty and hungry wandering around in an alley. In no time at all Bella completely falls in love with this tiny child and decides to adopt him, raising him as her own when no one steps forward to claim him. All the while keep up hope that she’ll one day find his family and after five years, her search is finally successful and they’ve been looking for him too. So, how did this little boy end up in the middle of two families? Will he be able to bring them together?

In “High Anxiety” by EdwardsBloodType, to escape her nightmarish high school existence in California, Bella returns to Forks to live with her father. When she reunites with old friends, she hears about the Cullen boys that live down the block who have issues of their own. However after her first day at a new school, her stress level is up and she seriously needs something to relax. That’s when she finds out Edward might have exactly what she never thought she needed and they may have more in common than they ever dreamed of.

In “Hit By Destiny” by ocdmess, Bella wants to die, and almost gets her wish fulfilled when she gets hit by a shiny Volvo. She is left with serious injuries, and the only thing keeping her from dying is the person who hit her.

In “The Plan” by QuantumFizzx, Bella has held this job for just a little over a year and for during that year, she’s nearly been transparent, but all that’s about to change. She’s tired of going unnoticed so she puts a plan in motion to catch the eye of Edward Cullen. At least that's her plan, but what fate has planned is something entirely different.

In “Emancipation Proclamation” by kharizzmatik, set in 2005, Edward grew up in a mafia life of money, power, & respect. Isabella, born into slavery, has never known another way. When their worlds come together, will they be able to stay the same? Will he be able to give her freedom and still keep her?

In “Confessions of a Nanny” by Melissa228 Dr. Edward Cullen, has found it difficult to trust anyone since his wife abandoned him and their 4 year old daughter, but the demands of his job require 24 hour help in the care of his daughter, so he looks into hiring a full time nanny. Bella’s looking for something better than bartending, so this opportunity is exactly what she’s looking for. However, living under the same roof may prove to be a challenge of restraint. Will they be able to co-exist without breaking each other?

In “Taste of Innocence” by Nolebucgrl, Edward Masen has spent years devouring the tainted blood of the truly evil, ridding the world of monsters of the human kind, but he’s growing tired of his usual fare. He’s looking for something different, an innocent. This is when he stumbles upon his latest victim, Bella Swan, of course. In a last minute decision, he decides to change her instead of killing her. Will he regret his choice? Will she be accepting of this change or will she hate him for what he’s done to her?

In “Harvest Moon” by content1, ever wonder what happened to the Cullen family after the Volturi left? As Edward and Bella finally begin a life together, their lives will change in more ways than they would ever imagine. Additions will bring them joy, loved ones lost will bring them pain, and just the act of growing up will change all their lives. Not to mention was probably not the last we’ve heard from the Volturi and the mess they left behind might not work out exactly how they expected it to.

Now if it the end if the world, there’s no way I’m making something complicated, so to go with these epic fics I suggest you make a large glass of Vodka Lemonade.

10 oz Country Time Lemonade Mix
1 oz Vodka

Mixing Directions

Mix two together and serve with ice or no ice

So, I guess we’ll see if the world really does end tomorrow and if it doesn’t, you’ll find me here next week with a few new tales to deal out. Until then, Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email ( if you want to talk shop.

The deal has been made. ;)