Friday, December 31, 2010

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

And so we say goodbye to another year of tears and laughter, calm and chaos, love and heartbreak, but before that last bell tolls we celebrate the year because good or bad it has made you who you are. So, for this final post of 2010, Lab Tech Andi has tabulated your favorites, the ones you couldn't keep quiet about, the ones that made you want to reach out to the author. Tread lightly as you make your way to the blue at the back of the shack, knock the beat of "I got a feelin'" by the Black Eyed Peas and the password is "Auld Lang Syne". Be Safe!


The sunlight shattered into a million different colored beams of light as it filtered through the raindrops that uselessly attempted with every last molecule to cling to the window of the lab. Each beam was then reflected back a million times, scattered around the room, dancing on the walls as I moved. Strong hands wrapped around my waist, lifting me high into the air, and I laughed. I raised my arms to reach for what I desired and as my fingers nimbly plucked it from high above me, it sent down a shower of stars, and again I laughed.

“Wow! Andi, you have tinsel and glitter all over you!” Bella exclaimed as she reached out for the ornament in my hand.

“It wasn’t my idea to put extra glitter on the garland,” I responded with a smile. “But now I sparkle like you!” Jasper gently set me down on my feet again and I ruffled his hair, sending more glitter into the air like pixie dust.

Bella laughed. “Yes, I suppose you do.” Then she taped up the box and dashed out of the room with it.

“Hey, Alice! We’re leaving the lights out, right?” Emmett asked from the other side of the room. He and Rose were taking down the tree and where that marvelous tree once stood, now there were only a few boxes of ornaments beside a bare evergreen.

“Yes, we’re reusing the lights for New Year’s Eve. So, just put them some place safe and we’ll get to them in a little bit.” Alice answered him, all the while her fingers continued to tap away on the keyboard at my desk.

“So, Alice, what are you researching anyway?” I asked her as I started walking towards the computer.

“Well, we’ve never had so many humans around before during the holidays and I know there are a lot of New Year’s Day traditions that people celebrate, so I want to make sure we’re prepared.”

I sat down in the chair on the other side of my desk, “The only traditions my family ever observed was to put money in your shoe and eat cabbage.”

“And what’s that supposed to do?” asked Jasper as he sat on the corner of my desk.

“Cabbage is supposed to represent paper money,” Alice answered him. “It’s supposed to bring wealth into the New Year, but I haven’t seen anything about money in your shoe. Is that for wealth too?”

“I guess so; it’s just something my dad did. He would put a hundred dollar bill in his sock, under his foot; that way he was walking on money all day long. He said it was good luck.” I said with a shrug.

“That sounds really silly.” Emmett added and then flashed over to join us.

“Actually, it seems there are a lot of traditions like that. Such as the tradition of the ‘first footer’, this is the first person to enter a home after midnight. states that the first footer will influence the kind of year you’re about to have. That this person should be a dark-haired, tall, and good-looking male, and should come bearing gifts such as a lump of coal to represent warmth, a silver coin to represent wealth, a bit of bread to represent abundance of food, a sprig of evergreen to represent longevity, and some salt to bring prosperity. Blonde and redhead first footers bring bad luck, and female first footers should be shooed away before they bring disaster down on the household. Aim a gun at them if you have to, but don't let them near your door before a man crosses the threshold.” Alice laughed as she read the last line and Emmett was doubled over from watching Rosalie’s face.

Jasper walked over to Emmett and playfully punched him on the arm, “So, I guess you’re our designated first footer.”

“I guess so!” Emmett straightened up. “That’s pretty cool. So, what other traditions are there?”

“The Dutch believe that eating donuts will bring good fortune because they are commonly in the shape of a ring which symbolizes coming full circle.

“There’s also a Sicilian belief that lasagna is the lucky food and that all other noodles are bad luck.

“In Spain and Peru, they eat one grape for each of the 12 months in the year ahead, but the Peruvians add a 13th grape to further ensure their luck.

The Chinese believe red is good luck and put all knives away for the day, so that no one cuts themselves, thereby cutting the family’s good luck for the coming year.”

Jasper broken in, “Maybe we should ban paper too.” Alice rolled her eyes and turned back to the monitor.

Alice continued, “In Denmark, on New Year’s Eve, people throw old dishes at the front doors of their friends’ houses to show they care. So if they wake up to a large pile of broken dishes at their door, it’s a sign that they are blessed with many friends.”

Emmett looked over at Bella, “Hey Bells, do you think Charlie would let that one fly here?”

“No way,” she shook her head, “the town would completely freak out.”

“Ok, Alice, so what about the ones for the United States?” Emmett asked, impatience tinting his voice.

“Let’s see,” Alice scrolled up and down the screen. “Besides, cabbage, there’s collard greens and black-eyed peas for wealth.”

“Black-eyed peas, really?” Emmett asked looking very confused and maybe even a little disgusted.

“Yep, supposedly they’re lucky if you eat them.” Alice answered.

“How would anyone know, they’re still human aren’t they?” Emmett asked lowering his voice. Then Rosalie smacked the back of his head.

“Not THE Black-Eyed Peas you boob! A black-eyed pea is a bean that people eat.” She told him and then walked away. Emmett just stood there rubbing his head.

“How was I supposed to know?” He asked the back of Rose’s head and then turned back to us. “I don’t eat beans.” We all laughed and Bella and Jasper went back to disassembling Christmas with Rose; Emmett followed.

“You know, this has really been a pretty good year.” I mused aloud to no one in particular.

“Yes, it really has,” Alice responded and then added, “but just wait until you see next year.” And the small smile told me she wasn’t going to share any more.


So, here we are once again, standing on the doorstep of a New Year just waiting for father time to open the door and let us in. And while we stand here and ponder the year gone-by, why not bide our time by re-reading a few of your favorite fics that have been featured at the shack. I’ve taken the time and crunched the numbers for over 140 tales, trying to put all these fics on level ground and here are my results:

Overall Favorites

Master of the Universe by Snowqueens Icedragon
Edward Wallbanger by feathersmmmm
Tropic of Virgo by


Favorite One-shots

Art Model by dollegirl
On the Double by MasenVixen
Once Bitten by NoMoreThanUsual


Favorite Parody

Attention, WalMart Shoppers by sillybella


Favorite Jasper Story

A Lesson In Release by Lillie Cullen


Favorite Carlisle Story

Past and Present by GiveUsAKiss413


Favorite Emmett Story

Nosy Neighbors TwiGirl Revolution Submission by dirtybrat


Favorite Alice Story

Yoga Master by mskathy


Favorite Rosalie Story

Nosy Neighbors TwiGirl Revolution Submission by dirtybrat


Favorite Vampire Tales

Bonne Foi by Amethyst Jackson
Dirty Dancing with the Devil Herself by JayJayHale
Past and Present by GiveUsAKiss413


Favorite Dadward Story

Bella Swan: Kidnapper by Kambria Rain


And just like the gifts of the ‘first footer’, here is my ‘Twilight Recipe to Ensure Good Fortune in the New Year’:

An apple to ensure good health
A feather to encourage passion
Honey to bring sweetness to life
A log to burn away evil
A candle to light your path
And eggs to ensure nourishment for growth

Until next year! Haha! Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email ( if you want to talk shop.

The deal has been made. ;)