Friday, April 6, 2012

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

You’re stuck in the car and the kids are driving you crazy. All you really want to do is escape, but where would you go, you’re trapped for at least a few more hours. Well, Lab Tech Andi can’t stand to see people suffer and has found several escapes for you. Just tread lightly to the blue door at the back of the shack, knock the steady rhythm of “Relax” as performed by Freddie Goes To Hollywood and the password is “Calm”. Be Safe!


Everyone was gone. The lab was silent. It was awesome!!

It was spring break and everyone had decided to go away for the week, even the authors were seeking inspiration elsewhere. So, I had the place all to myself and that hardly ever happened.

The chilly room still held on to the faint smell of last night’s pizza and even though the sun was slowing sinking into the horizon, I had yet to turn on a light. Instead, I sat wrapped up in the fluffiest blanket I owned, curled around my tablet, and reached for a soda in the cooler I’d put beside the couch. I was so engrossed in the words on the screen, I nearly had a heart attack when the knock on the door echoed loudly through the room.

“One minute!” I called, attempting to untangle myself from my cocoon and walk to the door.

“What’s the password?”

“Rachel Lee” I heard a male voice call from the other side.

Confused, I looked through the peep-hole to see an average looking guy dressed in dark blue scrubs. If Rachel was his name, it didn’t fit him. He looked armless, so I opened the door.

“You’re who?”

“I’m John Varela,” he said handing me a business card. “Licensed Massage Therapist, I was hired by a Rachel Lee last week for a man named Andy?”

“Oh, well I’m the only Andi here and I’m not a man. Did you happen to see this ‘Rachel’ person? Maybe that would help us figure this out. ” As I waved him inside to make us both more comfortable, my phone beeped indicating that I had a text. I flipped on the light and pulled my phone out of my pocket. The text was from Alice. I rolled my eyes.

“John is there to give you a massage because you’ve been sitting in that lab for two days. IT’S UNHEALTHY!”

I typed back, “Who’s Rachel?”

“The name on the credit card I used, which is irrelevant. And there are some clean clothes in the closet, please put those on and throw out the rags you’re current in. You’re worthless on your own.”

Am not! I whispered to the phone.

It buzzed in response. “You are, now show John where to setup.”

Bossy little pixie, I said to myself, sliding my phone back into my pocket and my phone buzzed again. I didn’t bother looking at it; I already knew it was Alice. I turned back to John who was patiently awaiting any sort of instruction.

“That was my friend Rachel, letting me know she’d scheduled you to come here. You can setup over there and I’ll be right back.”

Without a single word, he walked over to where I pointed and began setting up his massage table. If Alice had known a week ago that I’d be sitting around why didn’t she say something? Vampires can be so weird some times.


Let me say that John was very good at his job working out knots I didn’t even know I had, which made me wonder if the Cullen’s ever had massages even though I was positive they never needed it. So all the stories I found this week have a little bit of therapy in them. Relax and enjoy!

This first tale titled “Massage Therapy” by Gemgirl65, reaches deep down to dig out all your secrets. "I knew I was in trouble the minute I saw her naked back." As a therapist by day, musician by night, Edward gets more than he bargained for when indie label scout Bella is referred to his firm for treatment. One touch will unravel their secrets...but Bella’s not the only one holding things in. Are they ready to expose everything?

This second story is an adventurous tale called “Edroar the Angry Lion” by Tropical Sorbet. Edroar the Angry Lion, aka boss man Edward Cullen, frightens all the girls and boys at Cullen Publishing with his loud roar. Apparently, his job is so stressful that he requires at least one daily personal massage and sometimes two, but lately he’s been eating those therapists for lunch, having them running and screaming. Will his new massage therapist, Bella Swan, run away like all the rest, or can she tame this savage beast?

This fantastic little one shot called “The Full Spa Treatment” by fiberkitty is super sexy and filled with promises. Rosalie attends a work conference with fiancé Royce, only to meet a sexy masseur who offers her a glimpse at a life she thought unavailable to her. He provides new meaning to the phrase "full spa treatment."

Since the point of any massage is to relax, I’m going to suggest something to get you there without therapist called “The Relaxer”


1 1/2 oz. Rum, coconut
1 splash Schnapps, peach
1 1/2 oz. Vodka
1 splash Cranberry Juice
Fill with Pineapple Juice

Mixing Instructions

Add all the ingredients to a hurricane glass, transfer to a shaker. Shake with ice and pour back into the glass.

Until next time, Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email ( if you want to talk shop.

The deal has been made. ;)


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