::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

Hey! Has it been a long week for you like it's been for me? I know all I really want to do is shut everything else out and curl up in my happy place to be entertained without distraction. To cleanse my soul of the woes of the week and bask in the bright light of something wonderful. Well if you're looking for that escape, Lab tech Andi may have found a few ways to escape even if you only get a minute or two. So head on over to the blue door at the back of the shack, knock the beautiful melody of Tchaikovsky's "Swan Lake No. 9" and the password is "Dancer". Be Safe!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was strangely chilly, so instead of reading at my desk, I’d pulled out the huge mound of pillows and nestled myself in the fluffy mess with my netbook propped up on a chill mat in my lap. Paying very little attention to anything else, I didn’t even notice when the daylight began to fade, slowly being replaced by the darkness of the night.

Hypnotized by the latest tale to grace my screen, I was startled by the music and small animated video that hijacked my screen. The video had several tiny ballet dancers leaping gracefully across the screen and played the music from Swan Lake. As the music came to a close, the letters for an animated invitation flashed before my eyes. It was an invitation to attend a dance recital for Renesmee, in her own performance of Swan Lake that very evening.

I looked at the clock on my cell phone. “Oh my, I’ll never make it there in time!”

“Yes you will” sang Alice’s bell-like voice, as she danced through the door, flinging a garment bag at me. “But you still need to hurry.” She informed. So, I flew into the bathroom to change and we were in the yellow Porche in barely a blink.

“Well, this was very sudden. I didn’t know Renesmee was studying ballet.” I said as Alice drove.

“Actually, it’s not. Nessie has been dancing around since she could walk and you know Rose and I are always trying to create a lifetime of pictures and videos to make her cover more realistic.” She explained. “Then Edward started playing some Tchaikovsky for her and when she realized it was called Swan Lake AND it was a ballet, she began suckering Emmett and Jacob into watching every filmed rendition, even some obscure Russian version on YouTube.” Alice giggled and elaborated further. “So, Rose and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to create an illusion of dance classes.”

“Well, there’s more than one dancer in Swan Lake, who’s dancing with her?” I questioned, knowing that Alice and Rose would probably be involved. “And is she good.”

“She’s perfect!” Alice responded in near shock. “Of course, Rose and I will be dancing. We tried to talk Bella into it, but even with her new grace, she flatly refused. I think she still harbors some fear of ballet because of James.” Alice rolled her eyes. “But I’m not revealing anything else, you’ll just have to wait and see.”

It was only a few more short minutes in the car and then I was being taken to my seat behind Esme. Once I was seated, she leaned back and whispered, “They wouldn’t let me watch them practice today. So this will be a surprise for me too. I don’t know why, but I’m so nervous for them.”

“Oh, Esme! It’s perfectly natural to be nervous, I’m sure they’ll be perfect.” I responded with a smile. Then I began to look around myself and noticed a few authors, Sam and Emily, Leah, Seth, and Sue were all sitting beside Charlie, even tiny Claire was there sitting very patiently in Quil’s lap. It was still nearly surreal to know that the pack would do anything to make Renesmee happy. The lights dimmed and the curtains parted, taking that as a sign, I sat back in my seat to watch the show.

Nessie danced around the stage, in perfect form and motion. Alice was right, it was perfect. Then the evil sorcerer appeared to turn the dancing girl into a swan and who better to play that part than Emmett. He was dressed all in black with black ballet tights. I giggled at the sudden sight. Thankfully for my sanity, the black didn’t accentuate what the tights had the ability to reveal.

The performance continued and when it was time for the Prince to make his appearance, out leapt Jacob, donning his own ballet tights that hid almost nothing. He was not in the least graceful, but you could tell he was trying and you have to appreciate the effort he was making. He stumbled a few times, making it so very difficult not to laugh, but I held it in and continued to watch.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As I watched, I started to wonder if Bella really would have been that graceful, if Alice and Rose had managed to talk her into it. So when I got back to the lab, I stared the research to find out.

My first performance came from “If You were Mine” by ThexInvisiblexGirl. Bella Swan has just been accepted to Julliard and she can hardly believe her good fortune. She’s been dancing for as long as she can remember and this is her dream come true. Then by some bizarre coincidence, a boy from where her father lives not only plays for her audition, but shares a class with her. The only issue is that she has a boyfriend. What will happen? You’ll have to read it to find out.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5366872




My next performance is not of the usual variety “I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by SydneyAlice. Dr. Edward Cullen falls hard for Bella Swan, an exotic dancer in one of Seattle's nightclubs the very first time he sees her. What’s odd is that his brother Emmett seems to know her, and knew that she was supposed to be dancing on Broadway. However, Bella has secrets she’s not quite willing to share and once she’s exposed will he be able to look passed them? Trying to escape their haunted pasts, will they be able to find love for the first time?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5186191





The finale to my little deals is “Learn You Inside Out” by wolfpgirl. Bella is a college student and reluctant dancer/cheerleader, trying to move on. Edward is a rebel and thinks he’s all that since he’s the new quarterback, but there’s a reason why the whole world knows the reputation of Edward Cullen and it’s not because he bakes cookies for the homeless. An arrangement will bring these two unlikely people together, but trials of the present and the darkness of their past will threaten to tear them apart.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4807057




Now for something to go along with these performances, I’ve been inspired by the Russian version and recommend a “Russian Apple”

Ingredients
1 part Cranberry juice
1 part Pineapple Juice
1 part Vodka

Mixing Directions
Mix together with crushed ice in a glass and garnish with mint leaves



So, until next week, Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email (fanficdealer@gmail.com).

The deal has been made. ;)

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

There are times when you feel like you’re starving, but you know you’re not hungry. It’s a craving that burns deeper than the bodies call for nourishment; it’s the soul’s craving for something else and it’s trying to tell you what it needs. So, in those times of need, Lab Tech Andi, has found soul food for your mind and hopefully it’s enough. So head to the blue door, knock the kitchy John Zackerley tune “Dinner with drac" and the password is “Culinary”. Be Safe!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“OH MY GOD! WHERE’S THE FIRE EXTINGUSHER?” I heard someone yell over the sound of the alarms that were blaring all around us.

“IT’S UNDER THE SINK, BUT I CAN’T GET OVER THERE!” I heard another yell. I looked over and saw that I had a clear path to the sink, so I rushed over and flung the cabinet door wide. Sitting in plain view was the bright red fire extinguisher. I quickly grabbed it out of the cabinet, raced over to the kitchen island, pulled the pin and squeezed the lever, extinguishing not only Emmett’s attempt at Cherries Jubilee, but the wooden pot rack he had set ablaze when he lit the dish.

“CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TURN OFF THAT ALARM?” I yelled into the smoke that was currently engulfing the kitchen.

“JASPER’S ON IT, BUT I THINK WE SHOULD…” Alice had started yelling beside me when the alarms were suddenly silenced. “…Go outside while the smoke clears.” She finished in a normal voice and took the extinguisher from me.

As I stepped out on the back patio, I could see that most of the Cullen’s and the few authors who had joined me at the main house had all safely made it outside, for which I was thankful. “Is everybody ok?” I asked to the group and I got a few mumbled “yea’s” and “fine’s” as a response. Satisfied that everyone had managed to escape Emmett’s culinary disaster uninjured, I wandered over to a patio chair and plopped down.

Closing my eyes, I leaned back against the chair and thought about how silly this whole thing was. I mean, honestly, why in the world would a bunch of vampires want to have an epic cook-off when they don’t even eat the food?

“Because Emmett loves a competition, and he’s an idiot.” Edward said from the chair beside me; I opened my eyes and rolled my head so that I was looking in his direction. He continued, “He knows that not a single one of these human authors could beat him in a physical challenge, and he could probably think faster than most of them too, but cooking… that’s subjective to the diner’s palette and not something that can be done with speed.”

“But he should have kept it simple instead of trying to prepare something with flare.” Bella added walking over to us and settling herself in Edward’s lap.

“He had flare alright!” He said with a chuckle and wrapped his arms around her.

She looked at him, “kiss”.

He smiled, “Gladly, Love” and moved his face toward hers.

“No Silly!” and she laughed as he pulled away with a slight pout. “K. I. S. S. Keep It Simple Stupid.”

I heard a deep baritone laugh float through the open door and following the sound was Emmett strolling through the door over toward us. “I’m so glad to hear that Bella’s finally come to her senses and realized Edward is stupid.” Edward growled at him, but it only made Emmett’s smile even bigger.

“No Emmett, you’re stupid.” Edward grumbled to him. “Why would you try making a dish that involved fire? For heaven’s sake, even the range in that kitchen is electric, for a very good reason!”

“Emeril made it look so easy, Bro! And everybody loves ice cream or at least that’s what they tell me.” Emmett said with a slight shrug, putting his hands in his pockets. “I guess I put too much brandy in.”

From the side of my vision, I saw a blonde blur coming towards us and grab Emmett. Rosalie stood in front of him silently yanking his hands from his pockets and appeared to be inspecting every inch of him. Once she was satisfied, she smacked the side of his head with her hand and then threw her arms around his neck. “Don’t ever do that again!” she mumbled into his neck. Emmett returned her embrace, holding her tight against him.

Loosening his grip, he leaned back to look her in the eyes, “Don’t ever cook? Or light things on fire?”

She wacked him in the head once more, “Scare me you idiot! Don’t scare me like that!”

She hugged him again, and he mumbled into her hair, “Ok baby, next time I’ll stick to sandwiches.” Finally, Rose gave a little laugh and let him go.

“Well, you may get to display your sandwich making skills very soon because it’s going to take a few hours to get that smoke out.” Alice said joining the rest of us.

“We could do it out here, but instead of making it a big production, let’s just set everything out and people can make their own.” I suggested. “I’ve had enough productions for one day.”

“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, Andi. It’s going to rain, but we could move this little party to the shack and grab a few movies to show on the flat screen.” Alice countered.

“Ok, that sounds great. I’ll drive the authors back and we’ll meet you there.” I said rising from the chair. Then began the task of corralling everyone in the car.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So while Emmett has clearly displayed a need for cooking lessons from Edward, I have found a few culinary tales to tempt more than just your taste buds.

My first dish features a succulent appetizer called “Isabella Bites” by GreenPuma. This marvelous recipe has two main ingredients, Isabella Swan, a famous television chef, and Carlisle Cullen, a cosmetic surgeon with a highly honed culinary skill of his own. Throw in an adorable dog named Cujo, a cookbook, a month in Longport, with a dash of Carlisle secret ingredient and you have one incredible romance. I’m not sure if there’s more to this story to come, but it’s an excellent and satisfying one-shot, even if this is all we get.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6900305


My next dish is certain to get your taste buds ready and is a wonderful compliment to any meal called “The Baker's Magic Buns” by ciaobella27. This recipe will delight your senses with wonderful aromas and childhood delights as you bite into the plight of the Baker of Storybook Land. Dr. Swan, therapist to the mystical beings of Storybook Land, has been brought in by the Butcher and Candlestick Maker in an attempt to find the Baker a solution to his problem. But I will warn you, this dish tastes incredible, but is a little like Chinese food; you’ll be hungry for more in about an hour, so prepare as often as you dare.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5314334


My next dish is incredible if you’re looking for a light meal titled “Molto Bella” by ObsessingOverEdward. After spending several years away from the place he grew up, Edward is returning home. He’s paid his dues in the kitchen and even successfully run his own New York restaurant; so now, as a food critic, he’s pretty demanding. However, Edward is completely unprepared when he runs into Bella, an up-and-coming chef in her own restaurant, who could match him step by stubborn step. This is a tale that’s just as savory and simple as the Feta Burger Bella makes in it and as sweet as Bella’s slightly untraditional Tiramisu.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5278133


Now this dish is bitter sweet and a bit on the heavy side, but every bit delicious called “The Diner” by Jessypt. Bella is a broken woman looking to return to the only safe place she’s known. Without a plan to put her life back together, she manages to find peace in baking her unique cupcakes and waitressing in a small diner in Forks. The staff of this diner is small and family like and willing to do whatever it takes to protect their own. However, will all their efforts be enough to keep Bella safe? Will Edward’s love for her be enough to heal her shattered soul?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5709380


My final dish is something beautiful called “Wild” by PeppahLouie. After a the very tragic murder of her father and husband, Bella makes the decision to get away from all the small town gossip and move to Seattle to start the life she had been neglecting. Upon moving to the big city, she reaches out to a casual friend, Alice, who along with her brother Edward, owns one of the hottest restaurants in Seattle. What Bella doesn’t know is that Edward has been celibate by choice for 2 years, because his last relationship went to wrong. Will Edward be able to let his guard down and finally trust someone else? Is Bella that person?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6655429

So, to go with all these, I’m going to give you the recipe for Cherries Jubilee, but you have to promise that you won’t set your own house on fire.

Ingredients
1 pint vanilla ice cream
1 pound fresh, ripe sweet cherries, such as Bing
1/4 cup dark brown sugar
1/4 cup sugar
1 lemon
1/3 cup cherry brandy

Directions
Evenly scoop the ice cream into 4 dishes or decorative glasses and put in the freezer until ready to serve (this can be done up to 4 hours ahead).

Wash and pit the cherries. Put the cherries and sugar in a large skillet. Peel 2 strips of zest from the lemon in wide strips with a peeler and add to the cherries. Squeeze the juice of half the lemon over the top. Stir to combine evenly. Cover and cook the cherries over medium-low heat until the sugar dissolves, about 4 minutes. Uncover and cook over medium-high until cherries get juicy, about 5 minutes more.

To flambe the brandy: If cooking over a gas flame, pull the pan off the heat and add the rum. Ignite the alcohol with a long match or one held with tongs. Swirl the pan slightly until the flames subside, about 30 seconds.

If cooking over an electric stove, put the brandy in a small sauce pan. Warm it over medium-low heat and carefully light it with a long match or one held with tongs. Pour the lit brandy over the cherries, and swirl the pan lightly until the flames subside, about 30 seconds.

Ladle the cherries and their juices over prepared ice cream scoops. Serve immediately.



So, until next week, Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email (fanficdealer@gmail.com).

The deal has been made. ;)

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

I knew you’d be back; you just can’t stay away. I’ve got your brand of addiction right here and you want to know what’s in it, don’t ya? Well, now I can’t give away all my secrets, but I will tell you Lab Tech Andi is full is mysteries this week and there’s a crime in the lab. Of course, if you really need somethin’, tread carefully to the blue door behind the shack and knock the melody of Reba McEntire’s “The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia” and you’ll need to know that the password is “Clue”. Be Safe!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was an unusually dark and stormy morning and if it weren't for the forest, the wind would have had the strength to blow someone into the next state. So without any hesitation, I rushed in the lab, quickly closing the door behind me. Only after I flicked the light switch and remained in complete blackness did I become acutely aware that the only sound in the entire lab was the rain dripping off my coat and my own breathing.

“Hello?” I shouted into the darkness walking further into the room. That’s when I noticed a slender figure wrapped in the dark trench coat standing by the window. I jumped back in surprise; hands flying to my heart which was now nearly trying to beating its way out of my body.

“I'm so sorry, Andi! I didn't mean to scare you,” I heard the familiar voice cooed and I let out my breath in a big gust as I realized it was only Esme.

“What’s going on? And where is everybody?” I asked walking toward her. Since she could see perfectly, she met me half way and wrapped her hand around my arm.

“The wind knocked the power out, so we took all the authors to the main house. It has backup generators, so they could keep working.” She explained, but continued to hold me close to her side. “However, there’s something not right in here. I could smell it when I came to pick them all up, but I didn’t want to frighten anyone so I didn’t say anything. Once I got them settled, I came back to check it out.”

I uselessly scanned the darkness, while Esme guided me through the room. “I think there’s a camping lantern in the closet. If we get that, I’ll finally be able to see.” I told her. Once we reached the closet, I heard her hand turn the door knob and then I was yanked backwards, knocking the breath out of me as I heard the thud of something hitting the floor.

“What the hell was that?” I asked catching my breath again. Esme gasped. A bright light was suddenly shining in our direction.

“It’s a body.” I heard another familiar voice say. Carlisle handed me a flashlight.

“Oh my God! It’s not one of my authors, is it?” I moved to rush toward the body that was now covered by a sheet, but Esme held me where we were.

“No Andi! It’s not one of the authors,” Carlisle said. “It’s not anyone we know.” He told me, I’m sure to try and calm me, but the adrenaline running through my veins continued to make my heart beat faster. “Jasper, can you please help her?” I felt a cool hand slip into my own and my heart slowed, however the excess adrenaline made me feel exhausted. As my legs started to buckle under me, Jasper swept me up and carried me over to a chair and Alice came over.

“How could you not see this, Alice? Humans don’t get murdered in my lab! How can I ask them to come here on Fridays, if there’s danger around?” I asked looking at her; she wrapped her tiny arms around me.

“I don’t know why I didn’t see; something is blocking me, but we’ll figure this out, I promise.” Alice said with conviction.

I shone the flashlight at the body and saw that Carlisle was examining the body. “That’s so odd. There are all these tiny puncture wounds in the body and there’s dirt everywhere.”

“Emmett and I scanned the forest just outside the shack and we didn’t find anything.” Edward said as he and Emmett walked in.

“No, I don’t suppose you would. Edward come here and smell this,” Carlisle said waving his over. “What do you smell? It’s familiar, isn’t it?”

Edward’s eyes widened slightly, “Hummingbird Mints!” Then he looked at Esme.

I glanced between the both of them, confused. Esme glared back at him “Edward! I did not kill a human in my garden and bring them here! What would be my reasoning?”

“I don’t know Esme, but you’re the only person in the entire state who can manage to get Hummingbird mints to thrive in this zone and you were the first person here, so you tell me?”

I launched myself out of the chair and put myself between them. “Now wait just one minute!” I said to the both of them and then turned my full attention to Edward. “I’m sure you can see in her mind that Esme did not kill this person.”

“Actually, I can’t because she’s blocking me.” Edward growled.

“Then there has to be a clue in Esme’s garden,” I proclaimed. “Why don’t you go check it out?”

“Fine, but we’ll figure out if you’re hiding anything.” Edward said glaring directly at Esme, then flew out the door.

“Thank you for trusting me” Esme said to me guiding me back to the chair.

“Well, according to Charlie, there aren’t any new missing person reports.” Bella said strolling into the room.

“And all the bodies in the hospital morgue are all accounted for.” Rosalie announced as she walked through the door. Now I was really confused, why would Rose be checking the morgue?
Jasper sensed my confusion and whispered in my ear, “Just in case the death happened at the hospital and the body didn’t make it to the morgue.” I nodded and mouthed a silent ‘oh’.

Edward burst back through the door and raced to stand in front of Alice. “Care to explain why your price tagging gun was in the garden?”

“I know you’re not trying to say that I killed a human in Esme’s garden.”

“Well, you didn’t trying to prevent it, so what else are we to assume?”

“Watch it Edward,” Alice hissed back at him, “you know what happens when you assume.” Emmett stifled a giggled in the corner. Alice continued, “Besides, I loaned that tagging gun to Charlie for his yard sale.”

All at once, every eye in the room turned to Bella. I could hear several people in the room declare a quiet ‘NO’. Bella lifted her head, and then moved to flee, but Edward caught her. He put his face to her hair and inhaled deeply, taking in the faint scent of Hummingbird mints.

“So, Bella killed a human in Esme’s garden with Alice’s tagging gun?” I asked quite confused as to why she would go to all the trouble when she could have simply done it with her hands. “And how did Alice not see that?”

“Oh Bella! You had Renesmee with you didn’t you?” Alice asked with slight excitement. Now I was really confused, why would Alice be excited?

“I think it’s time to fill Andi in. Her confusion is getting worse with each passing discovery.” Jasper stated to the group.

“Why don’t you come see the body?” Carlisle said gesturing me over.

“I don’t want to see any dead body!”

“It’ll be fine, trust me,” Esme took my arm and walked me over to where Carlisle was. He pulled the sheet back and I slammed my eyes shut. Esme squeezed my hand, “Open your eyes honey.” I gasped when the body that lay beneath the sheet was a Rescue Annie doll.

“Wait! I don’t understand, I thought there was a real person here, what’s going on?” I asked, looking at all of them.

Emmett walked over to take my arm and guide me back to the chair, “When the weather’s bad, it’s boring to be stuck inside with nothing to do and board games are just too easy, so a few years ago we decided to play a game of Clue Cullen style.” Emmett grinned as he explained and set me back in my seat.

“Each of us has a designated item and a place; the entire town is our game board and the CPR dummy is our victim.” Alice said placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Damn! That sounds so fun, but you scared the hell out of me!” I scowled at them.

Emmett lowered himself to eye level with me, “Sorry we scared you, but it was great playing the game with a witness!” His smile was huge and I couldn’t keep myself smiling back at him. “So, are you up for another game?”

“Sure, but at least I won’t be afraid this time.” I said standing again and the lights flickered to life.

“Cool, let’s get the cards and Renesmee so we can pick our next murderer!” Rose called.

And without warning the lights flickered back out again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So, while the Cullen’s another game of Clue Fork’s Edition, here are a few other mysteries that you might like:

My first mystery was found in the streets of Paris in a tale called “Girl with a Red Umbrella” by spanglemaker9 and justaskalice. The year is 1950 and Rosalie Hale is missing. After her last living relative passes away, Rosalie decides to leave everything behind and head to Paris to study, but when she vanishes without a trace, her best friend, Bella, comes to find her. Following a trail of clues left behind by Rose's letters, Bella teams up with Rose’s Paris roommate and an assortment of other characters in her search for Rose. But what she finds might be more than she was looking for.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5421617





My next mystery was found in an awesome little story called “Bedroom Confessions” by JandMsMommy. At 24, detective Edward Cullen has found himself investigating the perfect murder. Unfortunately, there’s only one witness and she can’t remember anything nor can she stay where she was before. So Edward takes it upon himself to protect this only witness's identity from the murderer. But can he control his feelings for her, and can he handle the secrets she hides?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5651876






My last little mystery is perfectly titled “Sweeter Than Anything” by unicornhime. Edward and Jasper are the proprietors of a perfume shop where they are always searching for the perfect scents. Their shop philosophy is that beauty should be shared with the world and all of their custom scents are renowned. But more than anything, what makes these perfumes precious is the secret ingredient that either man would take to the grave. Fair warning, this is a very dark mystery and not for the faint at heart.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5875879

So, as with any crime mystery, the only thing suitable to pair them with would be a Martini, but I prefer mine sweet.

Ingredients
2 ½ oz Gin
½ oz Sweet Vermouth
1 twist of Lemon peel

Mixing instructions
In a mixing glass half-filled with ice cubes, combine the gin and vermouth. Stir well. Strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with the lemon twist.



You know, I'm thinking about creating the cards and a game board for Clue Cullen Love Shack Edition so that you can download it. If this is something you really want, Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email (fanficdealer@gmail.com).

The deal has been made. ;)

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

Who else dreamt of sweaty island nights with a vegetarian vampire holding onto a headboard in a blue room? Well, if you’re craving something a little sultry to go with all those images, Lab Tech Andi has put together another smut-tastic dirty dozen in an attempt to keep you satisfied. So head to the blue door at the back of the shack, hit to smooth beat of John Mayer’s “Come Back to Bed” and the password is “Headboard”. Be Safe!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Dang, Rose! Are you trying to kill me?” every limb hurt and I felt like I’d been beaten. It was Thursday afternoon and Rosalie had decided that I sit too much and needed more exercise. So after I’d eaten my lunch she dragged me out to a personally tailored extreme Pilate’s class.

“Oh, you’ll be fine. A few of my classes and you’ll be in the best shape of your life.” She said as we were walking into the lab and I was putting my workout clothes in the closet.

“I’ll get stronger or you’ll kill me.” I responded with a laugh and then walked over to my desk to flip on the computer. Without warning, Alice raced through the door, Emmett and Carlisle following close behind.

“Andi! Step away from that computer!” Alice shouted as she went to shut off my monitor. “Whew! That was close.” She laughed and slumped down on some pillows on the other side of the room.

“What’s going on, Alice? Is it another one of those viral internet things?” I asked and I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

“Not the same thing as last time, but sort of. It’s not good for your health to be seeing such thing right now anyway,” she told me as I pulled out my phone and unlocked it. Immediately, I was assaulted with the images of a muscular back, strong arms, and nimble finger gripping a wooden headboard. My vision started to faded, my breathing was ragged and shallow and I could faintly hear Alice’s voice as if under water saying, “Why on earth didn’t I think to take away her cell phone! Damn Twitter!” and then I was falling.

When I eventually came out of my stupor, my head was in Alice’s lap and she was combing through my hair, “What happened?”

“Someone leaked a few pictures from that breaking dawn movie and when you pulled one up you passed out.”

I looked up at her in confusion, “I don’t understand. Why would a picture make me pass out?”

“Don’t you remember the picture at all?” she asked. “Oh never mind! You’ll be able to look at them tomorrow, but you need rest now.”

“Can I have my phone back?”

“Tomorrow, now sleep.” She commanded and I closed my eyes and dreamed erotic dreams of headboards and topaz eyes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now, I know I’m not the only one who dreamt dreams of headboards and since those dreams aren’t on paper, my deals this week are something that are just as smutty as most of our dreams.

1. Mutual Assent by cdunbar – Bella has had a crush on her optometrist for years, and it’s perfectly normal to have your eyes checked twice a year right?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4953680

2. One Night by butterflybetty – Emmett walks into the bar and as his eyes scan the room, he sees the most beautiful woman sitting at the bar. He just knows he has to have her, do you think it’ll be a problem that she’s married?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6059922

3. The Love of a Pirate by muggleinlove – Bella, once the proper daughter is a Governor, now stands on the rocky cliffs of Twilight Cay constantly awaiting the arrival of her one true love, Pirate Captain Edward.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4494785

4. Rebel Without a Cause by Amethyst Jackson - Days before her wedding, Bella decides to go for one last motorcycle ride while Edward is in Seattle getting a final fitting on his tux. To put it mildly, Edward is NOT pleased and takes out is irritation with her the only way he knows how.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4612080

5. Just This Once by lexiecullen17 – It’s the day after graduation and Bella still hasn’t lost her virginity, but she told her best friend Jasper she wants it to be Edward. Things get very strange when Jasper offers to strip her of this awkward burden, in front of Edward. Was it just making light of the situation or does Jasper have secrets of his own?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5362094

6. Stupid, stupid Bella by Signature.Hot.Chocolate – Bella just can seem to say no to those adrenaline inducing activities, but Edward may be able to talk her into giving up her reckless behavior.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4151152

7. Trust by three.hills – Bella’s human clumsiness amuses Edward a great deal when she manages to trip and lands in the pool. But Bella’s not willing to be the comic relief and turns this into an opportunity for seduction.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4309364

8. Fifty Cents A Ride by Daddy's Little Cannibal – It’s time for a lesson in laundry; step 1 – Put in clothes; step 2 – measure detergent; step 3 – set cycle; step 4 – thank the very nice woman who was helping you.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4379202

9. Pianists by Rosette-Cullen – While waiting for Edward to pick her up at the treaty line, Jacob and Bella entertain themselves by making jokes about Edward’s possible bedroom skills. But Edward’s going to make a point about what pianists hands are really capable of.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4581508

10. Night in Nantes by enamors – Bella, gets talked into attending a frat party by the only friend she really has, so imagine her surprise when she find her soul mate while lying in the middle of the street.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4777515

11. In Your Eyes by 107yearoldvirgin - Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are starring in the remake of Say Anything. Their attraction is obvious. Where will their chemistry come from during the pivotal backseat sex scene?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6745014

12. Collection by k8ella - Bella Swan is a teacher for the school where the mysterious Mr. Cullen was once a student. She so desperately wants to meet him, but doesn’t figure he’d have any interest in someone like her, little does she realize how very little she knows about this man and his hobbies.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6422319


As for something to go along with these fics, I think you’ll need something to sip and a “Smooth Pink Lemonade” will do the trick.

Ingredients
1 ½ oz Vodka
1 part Cranberry Juice
1 part Sour Mix
1 part 7-up

Mixing Instructions
Stir in a glass with ice and enjoy!



Be sure to keep your eyes open for other excitement this weekend, I'm sure it'll be on the horizon, Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email (fanficdealer@gmail.com) if you want to talk shop.

The deal has been made. ;)

::Team Twilight:: Fan Fiction Friday

The human brain is a miraculous organ, it processes so much information all at once and when you digest the written word, it makes your body react without a single stimulus. Words can give you goose bumps without the whisper of a breeze, make your pulse quicken at the mere thought of a kiss, and make you exhausted when you haven’t moved any inch. However, the fandom inspires more than just the written word and although I would never deprive you of your literary addiction, this week you’ll have to open your eyes and take in other beautiful pieces of the fandom. So, purchase you ticket in advance then head to the blue door behind the shack, knock the funky rhythm of “Video Killed the Radio Star” and the password is “Roll ‘em”. Be Safe!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

How in the hell does she do this every week? I thought to myself as I silently tried to sift through the files before me. There were like a zillion files on here; over a 178,000 on just one site alone. How does she ever find anything?

I glanced over to where Rosalie was braiding Andi’s hair into an insanely intricate pattern; Rose looked over to me and smiled. I was so going to owe her tonight and she knew it. I’m sure you’re just a little confused, so let me explain.

Earlier in the week, Rose, Alice, and I were out hunting when Alice started going on and on about some stories she’d found that she was going to mention to Andi. I just smiled and nodded in the appropriate places.

Then when we got back to the house, Bella ran up to Alice and started jabbering on about one of our previous authors getting published. Eventually, that conversation drifted to a different room and I tuned it out.

After a while, all those things started to eat away at me just a little; Alice and Bella were both finding authors for the lab these days, and sure Andi had given me some Emmett days, but she’d never actually let me recommend anything. Probably because I’d recommend something like “The Cullen’s go to Wal-Mart”; she probably wasn’t far off, Wal-Mart is a freakin’ hilarious place to be.

So, anyway, I talked to Rose, who is the master of diversion, and explained that I wanted to hijack Andi’s post for Friday. She just rolled her eyes at me, but agreed to help. Ultimately, that’s how I found myself now looking at over a hundred billion words trying to figure out which ones to recommend. Rose knows I’m not much of a reader, which is probably why she gave me the look, suspecting I’d lost my mind for wanting such a thing, but damn it, I wanted my turn.

My fingers moved swiftly and silently over the keys, but then I heard her; knowing I’d been caught.

“Emmett, I know what you’re doing.” Andi said all the way from the other side of the room.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m not doing anything.” I answered in a cool tone.

“You’ve been staring at my computer the entire time Rose has been doing my hair. If you not looking for stories, what else would you be looking for, porn?” then she laughed at her little joke.

I just scowled in her direction. “No.”

“Well, I suspect you’re over thinking it. Just like all of you inspire stories, occasionally those stories inspire other things, like pictures, songs, or videos.” She explained.

“Videos? Really?” I was excited now, I understood videos.

“Sure, just look on YouTube and see what peaks your interest.” Then she closed her eyes while Rose continued braiding.

“Sweet!” I typed in the web address and pressed enter.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now this was truly a scavenger hunt, but I found some excellent fics with videos and since I can’t write a summary like Andi can, I’m going to let the video do it for me. I hope you like and I know I’ve beat Bella and Alice, just by sheer number this time. Ha! Ha! Ha!


The Red Line by WinndSinger
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4819806

video by JustBiel1

Sub Plans by SnowWhiteHearts
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5894804

video by bellabee66

Fade into you by RCD_Alice
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6014591

Video by HermioneFan01

Sleepers, Awake: Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme By Feisty Y. Beden
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5118949

Video by WideAwakeRehab

The Best man by Bratty-Vamp
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5122163

video by Alitriona

Dark Side of the Moon by blondie AKA robin
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4273193

video by xEternallyDazzledx

And since this was a drink created just for me, I think everyone should have an “Irritable Grizzly”

½ oz Cinnamon Schnapps
1 oz Raspberry Vodka
6-8 oz Ginger Ale
Splash of Rose’s Grenadine for color

Pour everything into a collins glass. Stir gently. Fill with ice and garnish with a cherry.

So, until next week, if you're part of the reading challenge, be sure to log the chapters you've reviewed for the Million Word Reading Challenge (Andi's been a little busy lately, but she'll get caught up soon.), Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message me on Facebook, or email (fanficdealer@gmail.com) if you want to talk shop.

The deal has been made. ;)

::Team Jasper:: Jackson Brings Sexy Back

Just a little video I made for fun & for the drool factor. Enjoy!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

::Team CULLEN:: Happy Cullentines Day 2010! A little gift from me to you!

Take a little trip to the Candy Shop with our Cullen Men!!!

::Team Robward:: Merry Christmas - All I want is YOU!

::Team Twilight:: Twas the Night Before Cullen Christmas

T